With featured guest

Stephanie Bergot

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Stephanie Bergot | The Remarkable Coach | Boxer Media

If there are multiple definitions for Success, what’s yours?

In the longest episode of The Remarkable Coach recorded to date, Micheal and Stéphanie go deep on coaching and the application of neuroscience, finding your place in life (of which your work/profession is one facet), how to pivot and course correct in big, effective ways, and more.

[This is one of my favorite episodes and one of our best interviewees. I really enjoyed this one; don’t miss it! – Micheal]

A bit about Stephanie:
Holding a degree in applied neuroscience coaching and a master’s degree in cultural business management, Stéphanie Bergot has been a potential catalyst for more than a decade. She has supported many individuals and businesses in achieving their goals. Stephanie’s goal is that every person can bring the best of herself to the role that suits her.

Where to find Stephanie:
Linkedin:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanie-bergot/

Other Links:
Find Your Place Podcast (English and French content)

Book Links:
Super Better – Jane McGonigal
Man and Superman – George Bernard Shaw
Super Neuro You – Claire Walton
Evolve Your Brain – Joe Dispenza, et. al.
Connect – Simon Lancaster

Where you can listen to this episode:

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Micheal Pacheco 0:00
All right. Hey, everybody. Welcome once again to another episode of the remarkable coach podcast. As always, I’m your host, Michael Pacheco. And today with me, I have Stephanie Burgo. Holding a degree in applied neuroscience coaching and a master’s degree in cultural business management, Stephanie has been a potential catalyst. For more than a decade, she has supported many individuals and businesses and achieving their goals. And Stephanie’s goal is that every person can bring the best of herself to a role that suits her. Stephanie, welcome to the remarkable coach.

Stephanie Bergot 0:32
Hey, thank you for having me. Thank you.

Micheal Pacheco 0:36
I like to open this podcast by inviting our guests to just tell us a little bit more about yourself and what got you into coaching in your own words.

Stephanie Bergot 0:45
Oh, wow. So I think coaching has always been part of my life in different ways. Like, for example, I told you before, we were talking a bit, I’m the oldest of five daughters. So I’ve been the one if you want taking care of my sisters and everything, so it was already there. I’ve been a gymnast for more than 20 years doing national gymnastic. So I’ve been coached by an athletic coach for years. And I felt like she was I and I had the blessing of having one main coach for years, while I had two, very important and both of them were very important to me, helping me grow, grow through teenage year. And then I went back to competition after having my first daughter when I was 21. And did so until I was almost 30, which is rare in gymnastic, I was specialized at that time in tumbling, and I was training with people half my age and my coach was much more my age and you became very important than poor swing that dream. Because sometimes I was like, Okay, I’m not able to do those things. And he was very, like, be patient, like you’re back from a pregnancy and you want to do the things you were doing before and they come down. And that’s part of my personality as well. And at the same time, I used to have a business and event planning. Since I’m 18. and event planning brings me to project management. And in project management I, after a year, I became specialized in intrapreneurship management. So entrepreneurs were calling me to help them create a new product or a new department or hiring specific people. And it’s always been in the human part if you say and I was always confront with the human behind the entrepreneur, because the thing you’re scared of the beliefs you have the our like I like to say, put yourself out of the way, because you’re always the one refraining stuff to happen or scared of something. And sometimes it’s not that clear. It’s not like okay, I’m scared of not being liked. But there’s something like everything else that the doing things are done, but the being is not there. So that’s why six years ago, I decided to do the degree in neuroscience coaching. I like to understand like the functioning of the brain. And I’ve been finally decided to do only coaching instead of project managing. Sometimes I do just refund. But most of the time, I only work on human and I have two types of clients. I’d say athletes, clients in that category, there’s real athletes and entrepreneurs. And on the other side, almost 20% of the clients I have, or they’re to totally change their life. They arrive in my office and they’re like 35 to 55 They have everything everyone would like, like a great job, great marriage, great children, great, whatever, but they feel empty. And I was telling you about any worries saying it but what I think it’s the most important is really being on your ex and being like happy at what you do. And sometimes it’s only a little crossroad where you took right instead of left because it’s what it was easier. It was what most people would have suggest and finally, left, right, left, right. You’re now somewhere where you don’t feel you belong and you don’t I don’t quite know why. So I love those types of clients because we’re just rewiring everything

Micheal Pacheco 5:07
you like that’s a, that’s a common a common path, both for both for coaches, a lot of coaches that I talked to seem to have a windy path and their past it wasn’t like, you know, you didn’t you didn’t grow up thinking I want to be a coach someday, it you tripped and stumbled a few times, and then fell into it a little bit. But I also for entrepreneurs in general, it seems to be very common. Do you see that a lot with with your clients that they’ve, they’ve had kind of this irregular path to get to where they’re at.

Stephanie Bergot 5:42
Yes, a side of my business. I’m working here in Quebec and equalities, entrepreneur, which is an entrepreneurship school specializing. In my case, I’m, I’m there for three years mandate to grow feminine entrepreneurship. That’s why I accepted and we are building trainings and coaching, specifically, in that case for a woman. And that’s one of the thing I see. And it comes back to what I was telling you just before about the why, sometimes the why is you finished college and your parents think that you should go in law instead of you going in art, because art is gonna not gonna get you where you want to go. So sometimes the break because there’s a break with your parents, that’s the way it is, like, one day you grow older, and you take your own decision without wondering if they will be happy with it. And it’s normal, it’s part of the, the path. But for some people, they choose to go in something they dislike, or they’re not quite sure what they want to do, and they follow the path of somebody else instead of theirs. And so I’m talking about parents, but it could be teachers, it could be friends, it could be like, I didn’t know what to do at the school, and I followed my friend that went to that university doing that type of things. And finally, sometimes you have natural interest. That brings you to be good at something, but not happy at something that’s pretty different. So yes, when you like entrepreneurs, or even coaches often have the impression that younger, they didn’t fit, that they were a bit apart, that they were a bit different, that they didn’t find exactly their ways. And depending on how much you were not fit. You get to do exactly what you feel you should faster not. So if, for example, you went to school, and school is another subject, but if for example, you went to school, and you taught your entire life that you were not good enough, because you were not, for example, good in languages or good in mathematics. And then the path they were suggesting you is not a scholar path, because you’re not good enough to go to university, but you don’t feel like working for somebody else or something, you start building your own stuff that will resemble whatever you are and whatever you feel. And those people are the more accomplished later on in life because they choose very early, but that wasn’t the one normally taken. Right. So they’re clearly out of the norm rapidly. So they build their own things and finally get to be happy and to be exactly where they want to be. And so entrepreneurs, coaches are sometimes people that did many things, looking for whatever, learning about many, many things, always loving the human part. And finally decide, okay, I’m going to use all of those skills to L butter people. I’ve had first started coaching for entrepreneurs because I’ve been an entrepreneur and I’ve been bringing project for entrepreneur for the past 20 years. So helping people build their business was an easy one for me. Like what to do, like in order to get there and It’s normal that you feel lost, it’s normal that you’re not having exactly the result you want. It’s normal that it’s one step at a time. Because people are aiming for something, but it needs to go like, every step of the way. And as I’m often saying, entrepreneurship is not a destination, it’s a path. So if you it’s not like becoming the VP of x, y company, that’s the destination, when I will be in that role, I will have achieved whatever I felt I should, okay, perfect. But entrepreneurship, it’s like parenthood, you’re a new parent, your daughter is eight months, I have three, I grew with my kids, when they were smaller, I didn’t know what will happen when they will be five, 610 and 18. Now, it’s the same for you. So you grow at the same time as your kids, you grow at the same times as you build your business, you grow at the same time as yourself. Because if you start something at 18 years old, you’re gonna grow. Like, hopefully, we got, and we’ve clearly changed. I turned 40 Last April. And every step of the way, I’ve changed I grew and I learned to new mind to know myself much better, I take choices for myself instead of for my husband, for my kids, for my parents, for my friends for so is a valuable step and brings us closer to what we love. So yes, I, I, I really think that in the coaching industry as an entrepreneurial world, there is much more people that didn’t have a to b path. Like if you become a doctor, often you were dreaming of when you were a teenager, and then you did the studies and you got your your your diploma, and then you started working. Most of them. Those for me are vocation, like teaching like, Doctor, the police. Some of them are like, I’ve dreamed that for years. And now I’m achieving the goals and the dream I am most of the answers and the coaches were those at the secondary phase that were like, I don’t know, don’t know what I’m gonna do don’t know what I love. Don’t know, and often are interested in many, many, many types of subject. Yeah. Yeah, like curious about some stuff did like you said, you, you’ve traveled to Japan to study there. That’s uncommon. Clearly, most of your fan friends again, they didn’t do that. So it was it was a calling you did it. But many people would add that calling and say, that’s a bit crazy, or I’m not sure it’s gonna serve me or so we’re too often refraining those little crazy things we would like to do.

Micheal Pacheco 13:35
There’s, I want to circle back to one thing, one topic kind of that you were discussing, I want to push back on it a little bit. You mentioned like so for example, you know, growing up and maybe becoming a doctor can be a vocation for a lot of people, but it’s not necessarily a passion. There’s a school of thought that says, the way that you become passionate about something, the way that you really get to love something, is by practicing it and by getting good by first getting good at it. And then the passion follows that. What do you think about that? Is that is that? Is there some merit to that? Or is that bullshit?

Stephanie Bergot 14:19
No, I don’t think there’s, it’s bullshit. I do think it’s accurate for many things. But for example, I have many clients that comes from the sales industry. And they are good speakers. They are very, they are nice leadership they are. So all these skills are there and they were oriented in the sales industry because they were good at it. And they get better and better and better and well tear at the same time to finally realize that It’s not a passion, it works well, it’s fun. But they’re not passionate about it.

Micheal Pacheco 15:09
Maybe they liked it, maybe they weren’t passionate about it. And they outgrew it. Something like that, maybe

Stephanie Bergot 15:15
Yeah, sometimes. And sometimes it’s because it’s easy. Sometimes you have natural talent, and those talent could be used across a Plan A or plan B. And finally you choose a, but it was the easier. And depending on the level of pressure you get from whatever, you get to do those choices, without at first really reflecting on it. For example, you were saying that the more you practice, the more you get to know, it’s impossible to practice being a medical doctor without doing those 10 years of university, unfortunately. So yes, it happens. I have a friend who did all or internship, two years of med of medicine, and finally decided that she will do something else. So I was still saying at the at first, that school is one thing, and it’s a big subject. But most of the school we grow in, in would say North America, accidental world, our school where, from five or even younger, to 18 or so you’re following the path, each grade, those are the classes you should or you could take. And at the end of the years you choose, for example, science or human science, for example. So with but you don’t really get to test your passion. And when you get to like, for example, I told you, when we met, you’re a guitar player. If for example, when you were younger, you had the opportunity to play guitar, and then you liked it and or you have the opportunity to play piano to sing, to do drawing to do whatever it feels. Those real passion are often put aside when it’s time to choose a professional path. Because people are seeing that you’re not going to make money out of it. A lot of people that fly but not much of them get chosen. It’s chaotic. Like are you going to be on the road every week? doing music, for example? So the see like they see this these industries in other ways than the regular one. So

Micheal Pacheco 18:11
focus on the negatives, maybe right because they’re they’re thinking about they’re thinking about things that you know, a society quote says you’re supposed to think about right and getting a nice job. Safety is big, right? A safe job, your rent every week, or your mortgage. And so as part of incidentally, as part of my strange path to get to where I am today, I was a professional musician for a number of years. And I’ve toured, I’ve probably played in 30 or so of the lower 48 states I’ve played in, in Europe, I’ve played in Japan. And for me, I gave it a go for a few years and then definitely realized that it was just it was a very hard life wasn’t enough money in it for my to reach take for me to get to my goals.

Stephanie Bergot 19:06
Exactly. And your story is another proof for people scared of those spots in the Si Si. A is lost or II spend a couple of years doing it. And finally, money time type of life was not exactly what he wants. So if we step a bit back, and we’re parents, and we’re teachers, what we’re suggesting would be the greater path is not the app. Yes, path is this secure path.

Micheal Pacheco 19:41
The safest path? Yeah, yes.

Stephanie Bergot 19:43
So that makes people like you’re clearly uncommon. What I mean by that you went to Japan and that’s what we were talking about my podcast but you went to Japan, you choose music Okay, finally you, you, you? Well, I’ll just say this an English beef jerky. You turned like you change the path. Yeah, it was not suiting everything you want. And then you choose that and so perfect. Everything you’ve mentioned our choices. So you’ve been from a very young age able and responsible for your choices, which is not the case of I don’t know if

Micheal Pacheco 20:34
that’s true, but I have not always been responsible.

Stephanie Bergot 20:39
Okay, no, maybe not. But for example, you you went to Japan, and once there, you had to do deal with the choice you had made. So it makes you responsible for that. And sometimes my life is is a great example of that. Sometimes you think you do a choice, and you’re totally responsible. And then it’s you and you’re like, oh, geez, I didn’t talk there was that art or that? Like, when I when I was pregnant with my first daughter at 21 years old, my dad asked me very kindly, why aren’t you able to do like things easily? And at that time, I was 21. I was like, what does he mean? And finally, I totally get it when I got my second. Children. Well, when Joshua came, because I had finished university, I was having a job. I was like, When I lower Leia was still a student, bachelor degree, I was working in restaurant two days a night to get enough money to take care of us. And so it was not the easiest path, but it was the path I chose. And when I say you do the choice, and then you live with the responsibilities that comes with it. But what it brings, it’s the ability to choose and to know that choosing is renouncing to something else. So when I finally decided to add the children, that daughter at 21, I knew that my liberty my time was going to be less important because of her, for example, but I knew it. So I did the choice. But so often, people are scared of confronting others or are scared of the unknown, or get scared by the stories they heard about. This musician finally lost everything. And this one never didn’t music and but instead of trying it, if there aren’t brings them there, they choose the rational track. And finally, when you get to choose the rational track all the time, we’re not on, I really feel that I’m at the right place. And I’m doing exactly what I feel like. You’ve tried music, you loved it for the time it last, and then you consciously decided that it was not a good thing for you anymore. But you’re not living in the best thing. Should I have tried?

Micheal Pacheco 23:31
Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s, that’s super important, right? And for whoever’s listening to this, or watching this, like if musics not your thing, it doesn’t have to be music, replace it with whatever it is you’re passionate about. But what I get to do moving forward is I get to have that accumulated experience of all these things that I’ve tried and maybe failed at and learned from, right and that. I don’t know that kind of it builds character, personality and so on and so forth. I think yeah, I think I think it’s important. And I hope that you know, like, as you mentioned, I have a daughter who’s about nine months old, and I really, you know, I hope that she as she grows up, it has the courage to do things that are uncommon. You know, it’s not it’s not the easiest path, but it’s, it’s a good one.

Stephanie Bergot 24:35
And I like the quote when people say if you never fail, you never try. Low. It’s it’s impossible. I was talking about gymnastic. Do you know how many time I’ve felt on the floor? messed everything up, miss the bar mitzvah? Okay, perfect. Your daughter’s gonna To start walking, soon, it’s not gonna work the first time. She’s gonna start talking, we were talking about sign language, it’s not gonna work the first time, it’s not going to be clear the first time it’s gone. Like, she’s, she’s in the part of her life, she’s trying new stuff, new food, new Walking things, new language, thing, new, caring thing, new everything. And even though it doesn’t work at the, for the first time, the second time, the third time, the 10th time, the 20 time, she’s gonna do it again. Yeah. And it’s part of life. So sometimes when we grow older, we’re kind of expecting it to work easily. At first, because we you, we are used to take the, the, the easiest part, because we’re good at school, for example, if if it was a facility, it’s, if it was easy for someone, it’s okay. Those that are needed to fight, to be good at school, to get to learn stuff are much more equipped to try new stuff and to do things because it’s like the regular path. And sometimes doing uncommon thing is doing whatever you feel like even though it’s not what people think it should, because I have friends that really choose, for example, to become a doctor, and they’re very happy and blessed about that choice. And everything’s perfect. That’s perfect. The idea is not to do like the things people are not going to choose. What we’re saying is choose whatever your art, art felt, feel it’s the good thing to do. Instead of choosing the easiest way, or choosing somebody else way or so yes, it’s an I’ve I’ve watched a video on YouTube, I think two or three weeks ago, and I loved the message. And in there, I’m sharing it. And the person was saying that when they were younger, their dad was always asking them what they fail at today. And at that time, they were like, pissed off, like, Well, why do you expect us to fail every day? And she’s now 40 or so when she was like today, it’s my biggest blessing. that failing is a normal state every day. But the more you fail, the more you try. The more you try. The more you know, the more you know, when the more you were. It was very interesting. I was like, Oh, yes.

Micheal Pacheco 28:05
I love that. So I mean, that’s that’s essentially Right. Like you’re you’re normalizing failure, because failure and failure is the essential part of growth. If you’re never, if you’re never failing, if you’re never messing up on something, you never learning anything exact. You know, you learn so much more from failures than you do from successes. I love that I’m gonna use that with with with my family for sure. I love that. What did you What did you screw up today? Tell me about that. Let’s let’s

Stephanie Bergot 28:35
it’s super fun, because actually ask them to think about the day. Think about what they did think about what didn’t go exactly as they plan and what they’re gonna do next about this. Yeah. That’s, that’s super fun. And it’s like when? I’m sorry, I think it cuts. Yeah, go ahead. And I think that failing is necessary. Yes, to learn and to know yourself. And the more you get used to it early, the less you think it’s your fault. One other thing I see a lot in entrepreneurship is, for example, something doesn’t work as planned. And instead of wondering about the process, wondering about the choices, they wonder about them. Am I good enough? they

Micheal Pacheco 29:43
internalize the failure and they blame themselves for messing up or something. Yeah.

Stephanie Bergot 29:48
Yes. And it’s when they get to talk to other intrapreneurs that they realize that all of us go through. For example, financial difficulties go through The changes needed go through. And they’re like, oh, okay, so I was in the broken one. It was just part of the part. Like, you’re not becoming an Olympic athlete, without failing at whatever you tried to do 1000 times. For sure. And we see it like, it’s heartbreaking, but we see some of them at the Olympic having a bad performance. They’ve been preparing for four years and often training for 20. Yeah. And the Phil.

Micheal Pacheco 30:40
Yeah. I mean, on the subject of, of athletes, I can think of two quotes off the top of my head from amazing athletes. One is Michael Jordan, I think his quote was, I succeed because I fail, right? You practice, you practice, you practice in every shot that you miss, you make a slight adjustment, and then you’re better at it the next time. And then the other one, of course, is my hero, Wayne Gretzky.

Stephanie Bergot 31:07
I love Wayne Gretzky.

Micheal Pacheco 31:10
And he’s got the classic, you know, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And you have to be willing, you have to be willing to take a shot, and to fail in order to score a goal. And that’s I mean, that’s, you know, obviously, we’re talking about sports here, but it’s also a clear metaphor into everything else in the world.

Stephanie Bergot 31:29
Yes, and, like, those are not known, but bankruptcies and entrepreneurship are much more often and common that people think. But as we’re in a non failure culture, we’re not except Except some that are very public and that people see, but it’s often it’s normal. It it’s part of the learning sometimes. And it’s yes, learning for intrapreneurs. But sometimes it’s the industry, sometimes it’s a pandemic, sometimes it’s like, there’s much more risk and becoming an intrapreneur. And that’s why not everyone even though they would like to are going there, because we’re, as we were saying, often going for security instead of going for the dream.

Micheal Pacheco 32:30
Most definitely, you’ve got a new podcast that you just released recently. Right? I think it’s find your place. Yes. And it’s bilingual. And you talk about this topic. Exactly. And literally finding your place. Tell us a little bit about about the podcast, and how do you? How do you approach the podcast? Is it an interview podcast? Are you interviewing people and talking to them about that? Are you helping people find their place? Are you helping people find their true calling, like, tell us about the podcast a little bit?

Stephanie Bergot 33:06
Yeah. So yes, then releasing it. Three or four weeks ago, it has been a hell of a ride. And

Micheal Pacheco 33:16
it’s a lot of doing it.

Stephanie Bergot 33:21
Yes. And it was we were talking about, like, unconscious biases, fears and everything. And I had some of them to overcome to be able to put that on those platforms. And it was super challenging and super fun. I get out of it. Much more grown up for you. I’m not coaching in those podcasts. I’m interviewing people that made on common choices that bring them to happiness. And sometimes it’s people traveling the world with their kids, instead of putting them in school and having like the regular life. Sometimes it’s digital nomads that have businesses all across the world. Sometimes it’s, I have one of the entrepreneurs I meet, she’s only working now or five hours at night because she chose to homeschool our kids and it became but the interesting fact about that is she She’s been an entrepreneurs for years before doing this change. And when she communicate to her already clients that now they won’t be able to reach her during the day while normally it’s their business hours. All of them were like okay, perfect, great project. We will support you. So they’re writing to her during the day and she’s answering it Night. And she was so she was saying that even one of our client that I work it did exactly the same thing after seeing her doing it like a year after, like, that’s what I love and the changes. So when you do those changes, and you truly stick to what you think will bring happiness in your life, you become an evidence or an example for people that are doubting themselves about choosing on common stuff. And the more we get to choose ourselves in, and family and when we do those choices, the more we get to meet people, the more we get to have kids that know that it’s possible to just follow their track and follow their track doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy. But honestly, being Accra being a side of your track is much for me, it’s much more difficult and suffering than being right on and not common. So yes, so everyone is bilingual, as you said French and English. For those who haven’t recognized my little accent in English, it’s the French one. So some of the invitees are French, some are English, and some are athletes, some are intrapreneurs. Some changes their life after years and years of being employees, some are very spiritual. And they used to be one when, when Adam used to study and medicine and in engine biological engineering, okay, and is she’s now doing quantum healing and your instead of Fischer finishing her doctorate, a year before the end, she realized it wasn’t suits for and she changed it. 34 years old, seven years into studies, she chose to do different and she’s now very successful, aside of being very happy about it. And so sometimes it’s a slight choice you made different that brings you to exactly where you think you want to be. And sometimes it’s amazing. I’ve it’s not on the podcast yet. But two weeks ago, I’ve interviewed a friend who decided at 30 years old that he’s going to drop everything corporate job and is with a friend biking all over the world to realize documentary about sustainable entrepreneurship across the globe. So he’s now across Germany and Colombia on the Atlantic Ocean with their bicycle.

Micheal Pacheco 38:06
Oh, well, that. That’s awesome.

Stephanie Bergot 38:09
So those are crazy stuff. But sometimes it’s smaller things that like for example, we we’ve decided with a pandemic to unschooled or smaller kids. So their own, maybe they will come in, that’s the risk, but their own, and we’re able because of that to travel and work abroad whenever we feel like it. So that’s a dream we’ve had for 10 years and the pandemic brought it to us. So sometimes it’s small choice at the right time. That gives a big, big, big difference. So yes, and I’ve I’ve started the podcast, because so often I hear people see, yes, I know you’re an entrepreneur working inside them with kids, but you’re an exception. Yes, I would love to start my business, but I don’t have money. I would like to start my business but I don’t have your knowledge I want. Very often people find and I put it in and excuses. And sometimes it’s because they’re around them. They don’t see evidence that it’s possible. So I would love those interviews to only create a breach in some people’s mind saying, oh, so II sold everything to work from somewhere else. Oh, so they choose to all so that means it’s possible. What I’ve always taught wasn’t is oh in theory Testing because it create the breach you need to do the next steps. And in 10 years, you’re going to be exactly where you figured out.

Micheal Pacheco 40:09
That’s the old the bannister story, the four minute mile. No for the five fingers the four minute mile for forever, nobody could run a four minute mile and then this guy, I think it’s Jim Bannister. If something Bannister did it in, I don’t know, the 50s or the 60s. And as soon as he broke that barrier and showed someone else that it’s possible, it took like two or three months, and then someone else broke it. And then someone else did it. And someone else did it. And all of a sudden, because one guy said, Hey, this is possible. I can do this. Now all these other people are like, Oh, crap, I can do this too. And it’s that you know that that trailblazing kind of effect?

Stephanie Bergot 40:54
Yeah, exactly. And those that are the Trailblazer are the stronger one because they’re doing stuff they haven’t seen. Like they’re they’re believing, like, I know from who’s the code, but like, do the thing you always thought was impossible. Just good doing it will show that it is possible. Yeah. And it’s it’s the dream about changing the world until you do like that. Some, the other people around will know it’s possible. And it’s exactly that. Like, talking about Uber talking about Airbnb talking like all of those are thrilled brain pleaser. It was impossible to do. So the legislation, we’re not permitting that going on the moon, I mean, honestly, that that’s, that’s amazing. So those people are amazing, because they’ve done stuff they didn’t even thought was possible, because they’ve never seen it before, and still did it because they thought it could.

Micheal Pacheco 42:08
I think one quote that I really like that I will attribute to my coach, is you get to choose your heart. And living, living an extraordinary life is very hard. But living a very mediocre life is also hard. Being rich, being wealthy is hard, being poor is also hard. And you can even pick two dichotomies. And this will apply, right? You get to choose your heart, do you want to do something extraordinary? Or do you want to live, you know, a mediocre life doing something that you’re not really happy doing for the rest of your life? That’s very safe, but you’re not happy doing it. That’s very, very hard. You get to choose your

Stephanie Bergot 42:54
heart and art. And I would add risky, because at the amount of depression we’re seeing now, and all of this, the mental stuff and everything. It’s not only hard, it’s risky. One day, you’re gonna have a wall, and something’s gonna happen to remind you that it’s not safe. What you taught was the safest is not the safest. And what I love about the quote, you were saying, and what I want to remind people is sometimes you feel so. So though, in the dream, like, like, it seems so difficult for you at that time, to even dream about something, or whatever you dream about seems so far, that you’re like, Yeah, whatever they were talking about stuff that doesn’t apply to me because, like, my case is different than I don’t have money to feed my kids. And they’re like, I just want to remind everyone that it’s one step at a time, all of this becoming extraordinary starts by one steps, and it continues by one step. So I’ve been working on myself and working on many things for the past 15 years. And when Lorelai was super young, I told you, I was in university working a bit taking care of my daughter and she was the only priority. Nothing else mattered. The only thing I wanted is for her to be safe and to be fed and to be happy and loved. So she was the only priority and at that time, the only thing I was working on is making sure I am the best person for and then she grew up but money can come in a bit. More because I finished studies and everything. So the next step was to get better at something, then start the business. And I’ve been working a job and a business for years before I was able to just be in my business because I was making sure that everything I need financially to take care of her. And so what you see today about me or even about, Michael probably is a compound effect of many choices across those years. Because if instead of starting 15 years ago, I have been scared of never reaching what I saw. And at that time, in my head, I would have freeze, and it’s a normal phase of fear. But if you freeze, you’re gonna still be at the same place in a year and two year and four years in 10 years, and you won’t be happier. So what I say to my my friends, clients, and people that are listening to what I say is, just one step was what is the easiest step you could do? The words your dreams study, and sometimes it’s only speaking kindly to yourself. Sometimes it’s only surrounding yourself with less toxic people, or with better people or with. So those will come to a compound effect. And one day, you will wake up having only good people around you with whom you’re able to share all your dreams and everything you want to achieve, and that you could celebrate your your failure as your big wins. And, but it’s, it’s a step by step thing. And sometimes we we forget about it. And when we’re in the place where it’s not easy, you were saying you have the art or the Choose your art, sometimes you don’t have the impression that you have the choice. And that’s the first thing you want to regain is your power. Once you regain the power of choosing, and sometimes choosing is staying in a shitty place. I’ve been working in restaurant for years before choosing exactly where I want to work because it was giving me money I needed to pay for my my studies and my daughters and my daughter. And then but it was a choice. I remember having reflected on this and saying, Okay, are you taking for example, a job where you’re paid less just because it’s a good job? I mean, for example, so create a secretary or, or are you still working in restaurants and bars, even though it doesn’t look as good as you would like to, but it gives you the flexibility to be with Lorelai and to get the money you need. And it was a choice. So that was the first one and then other choices came up. And sometimes the choice is okay, I know where why I’m doing those shitty things. And it’s going to last a time, and then I’m going to get to choose something else. But regain your power on choices, that’s going to be the first steps you really want to take.

Micheal Pacheco 48:35
I don’t I don’t know who to attribute this quote to. But it’s something along the lines of You know, most people will overestimate what they can accomplish in a day. And they underestimate what they can accomplish in a decade. Clearly 100% Clearly, there’s no how many how many times you had a to do list that’s a mile long, and there’s no way you’re going to finish that in one day. But you’re not thinking about you know, if you do a little bit every day. 1% better, right? That’s another one that I like is 1% 1% better every day. It doesn’t have to be a huge step. It’s a tiny, tiny step. But do it every day for 10 years for 10 years. And you will get to wherever it is that you want to go.

Stephanie Bergot 49:20
I’ve experiment this myself. I’ve been I’ve been doing a review of the year and a vision board of the next one for the past 14 years. Wow. And at the beginning I was only putting the things that were like okay, I’m happy like gratefulness is one of the biggest trends we have in the world because it it gets your brain in the right direction. So I was grateful for example for my daughter for health for or ability to eat and everything. But I was also the Putting their like, for example, I would like to remove the procrastination from my life this year, I would love to be more active, I would love to, I am dreaming of becoming free enough to travel as I want. And the compound effect of that is that I now see some stuff I’ve put on that list of dream 10 1214 years ago, achieved now are close to being achieved. So sometimes we’re very impatient. And we think that we’re not good enough to achieve achieve those things, because it’s been on the list for years. But sometimes getting to there is a lot of steps. So it takes more time. And some stuff that I thought would take me years are on the compound effect, because a lot of things were done prior to that dream if you want. And today, it takes months instead of years. So it’s very interesting, because I may bone for the past years to see. Okay, yes. And sometimes your dream or not even any more dream, when you get to be able to achieve them. You’re like, oh, yeah, that’s very cool. But today, it’s not important anymore. Perfect. It shows you that you drew across whatever you you’ve you’ve dreamed of. And I’m very, very visual about it. There’s both there in front of me. So I see them.

Micheal Pacheco 51:40
That’s awesome. Yeah, my my wife and I did a the most important vision board of either of our lives we did about three years ago. And we were living in a small bungalow in the suburbs of Portland, Oregon. And so we did, we wrote down first of all, we wrote out our perfect average day, in text in English. And then she, she’s very talented artists. So she she drew out. And what we what we talked about was was being out in the country, in the mountains, lots of green, lots of trees, everywhere, horses, a stream that goes through our property. I’m not kidding you. Nine months later, not even nine months, really, it’s six months later, we went to go look at a property it was about 30 acres in the Washington State cascades, the West Fork of the Washington river runs right through it. There’s plenty of room for horses, we bought that property, he built a house on it, we moved there last year. And then two months ago, we excavated a small area, a corral and we’re getting forces in the spring. That’s crazy. And it was six months it took doing when we found it.

Stephanie Bergot 53:00
That’s crazy. Because first you put clarity into a dream you and second you open your mind to opportunities. And then things compound, but you weren’t able to buy that property in six months, just because of the dream board, you were because probably way before, you had decided, for example, to put money aside or to dream about what you would love to. And so that’s what I mean, when I say it gets faster. At the beginning, everything takes time because you’re starting the wheel. But sometimes the wheel gets faster and faster. And it looks much more like what you want.

Micheal Pacheco 53:48
I want to I want to add something else to it too when we when we did this exercise. I’m not sure if my wife did it every day. But I would read my perfect average day every day, which allowed me to visualize it to feel grateful for this thing that in my mind I already had. Right. And in fact, I can vision and I can feel gratitude. And here’s a fun neuroscience fact that you probably already know, gratitude. The reason that works is because it creates Alpha Brain, it puts you in an alpha state and puts you and makes more Alpha brainwaves, which is this mindset of openness, of positivity of creativity. And so it allows you to, you know, create, right create with when you’re creating, you’re creating

Stephanie Bergot 54:33
and the statistics are crazy. You you take people in depression and you start by gratitude only, and most of them see the world differently in about two weeks. Because you have to do it. And that’s the first step with LMI client. First thing is you’re going to take two weeks and every night you’re gonna write down three great grads, great grief. On this gratitudes Yeah, gratitudes. And at first, sometimes you have difficulties finding three, because you’re not your brain is not wired for it. So I woke up, I’m going to bed and it was sunny. So those are the three and getting up the two weeks, then it’s 1010 1215, because you saw like the smile of that stranger and then you saw your, your, your daughter started talking, and then you everything seems enlightened. You didn’t change anything other than wiring your brain. And I do this often, like the spiral thing, you can go up or down. So if you put your focus on everything that doesn’t work, you’re gonna go down, down, down, down, down, and it’s not gonna go up by itself, you will have to rewire, rewire. So first thing, gratitude, and then one step at a time. And maybe the first step is only to realize that you’re not exactly where you would like to be. And then step by step by step by step and one day, you wake up to a life that you dreamed of. You were talking about the list you were reading. Now, for the past year, I’m last year and the year before it’s gonna be the third year, I’m doing a name sideboard. One of my coaches suggest that and I was like, Oh, well, okay. So I used to do a vision board in the review for the year. And she said, why don’t you do an insight board? And I was like, Okay, what, what’s done, and she said, took pictures that you’ve taken the you’ve taken last years, and put them on a board to realize that your insight board is now looking like a vision board, you went two or three or five years ago, and it’s the case on my insight board, there’s a trip to France, there’s a trip to Mexico, there’s a car, there is a salsa dancing with my husband, there’s so I’m looking at that. And I’m like, Yeah, that’s true, I would have dreamed of this couple of years ago, it would have looked like that. So now having a vision board and an insight board reminds me every day, or how much I can be grateful for what we’re building. And for every cell small steps of the way.

Micheal Pacheco 57:33
However, I think that that plays into it plays into human psychology really well, because we have this tendency, right? We have this tendency to compare ourselves. And too often we’re comparing ourselves to the external, right, we’re comparing ourselves to someone else, or we’re comparing ourselves to some ideal instead of comparing ourselves to ourselves from yesterday, right? How, how have I grown since yesterday, or since last year, since two years ago or something like that. And I think that that’s a much more healthy comparison that naturally produces this gratitude for the learning that we’ve had and the growth that we’ve had. And you know, the things that have come into our lives and maybe the crap that’s left our lives, right, there’s sometimes there’s, you’re grateful for toxic stuff, that’s it’s no longer in your life.

Stephanie Bergot 58:26
And and it’s not totally natural to see the great thing. Often we’re very critique about what we live and what we did and what I’ve been and how come it was not that easy, or whatever. So just taking the time to begin grateful first, and then to realize what we did today, what are we proud of? It could be only one thing. And it could be instead of working today, I spend time with my kids, even though a performing person would say geez, I should have worked instead of spending that time. Just being proud of that time you’ve spent even if it’s not, it was not the thing to do. But the thing you want it, like all that you do that was wanted instead of needed is very, very powerful.

Micheal Pacheco 59:16
Yeah. Yeah, that’s great. It’s definitely I think I let the the time get away from us. You and I have been talking for almost an hour and a half. And I think we’ve been recording for about an hour.

Stephanie Bergot 59:30
Clearly, I’m like, Yeah, I’m I have the exact same problem. When I do my podcast. I let it out. I’m like, Oh, God. I’m good at talking. And I like talking with people and I think you’re good at it too. And time fly by and yes,

Micheal Pacheco 59:49
yeah, this has been a wonderful conversation. Is there anything that you would like to chat about that we haven’t had an opportunity to touch upon yet?

Stephanie Bergot 1:00:00
No, I don’t think so I think that things that come out are exactly the one that people need to hear or learn or discover. So no, nothing, nothing more. I would if you have any questions, please just send me a message wherever you feel like it, I will be happy to.

Micheal Pacheco 1:00:20
Awesome. And then do you is there anything a product or a service or a freebie that you would like to pitch our listeners or viewers?

Stephanie Bergot 1:00:32
What? Well, the podcast if you want to listen to the podcast is a very good read one and put stars on it. If you’d like it like that. I know people are listening to what I do. And if you have any question regarding like the tips or the tools I’m using, just feel free to send me a DM on Instagram or LinkedIn or Facebook and I will it will be a pleasure to answer.

Micheal Pacheco 1:00:58
Awesome and presumably the podcast is available wherever people get their podcasts.

Stephanie Bergot 1:01:03
Yes, Apple podcasts, Buzzsprout, Spotify, even on YouTube.

Micheal Pacheco 1:01:09
Possible. Awesome. And Stephanie. Finally, where can our listeners or viewers connect with you online?

Stephanie Bergot 1:01:17
The easiest is under My name’s defining bear go you will find the potential catalysts. There’s the my brand and you will find everything about me there too.

Micheal Pacheco 1:01:28
Awesome. We’ll have links to all of this on the show notes. So if you’re listening in your car or something you guys can always check that. And gosh, I think I think that’s wrap Stephanie. This has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for being so generous with your time.

Stephanie Bergot 1:01:46
It was super fun. Thanks for inviting me and I will invite you on my podcast to like your listener would be happy to listen to your story.

Micheal Pacheco 1:01:55
I would love it. I would love it. Thank you so much. And thank you of course to our listeners and viewers. You guys are awesome. And we will catch you guys next time. Take care

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