With featured guest

Joe Cohen

Share on:

Joe Cohen | The Remarkable Coach | Boxer Media

Joe Cohen quadruples his clients’ incomes, helps them hire smarter, saves their marriages, and helps them to establish authority in their industry.

In this episode of The Remarkable Coach Podcast, Joe and Micheal discuss the realities of marketing yourself as a coach, how to determine if and when a client needs to work on their emotional intelligence, and we go in-depth on self-awareness, self-identity, self-perception, and the true meaning of vulnerability.

A bit about Joe:

Joe provides human capital consulting, and leadership coaching.

As a leadership coach, he draws upon over a decade of training in various leadership development and personal growth strategies, including seminars with Tony Robbins and Landmark as well as coursework in Internal Family Systems and Conflict Resolution and Mediation.

Joe received his coaching certification from the International Coaching Federation and a J.D. from Hofstra School of Law.

Where you can find Joe:

Website: https://www.40pillars.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joecohen1

Also mentioned in the podcast:

MHS Emotional Intelligence test
DISC Assessment
Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Where you can listen to this episode:


Share on:


Micheal Pacheco 0:15
Welcome everybody again to another episode of the remarkable coach podcast. As always, I’m your host, Michael Pacheco. Today with me. I have Joe Cohen Joe provides human capital consulting and leadership coaching. As a leadership coach. He draws upon over a decade of training in various leadership development and personal growth strategies, including seminars with Tony Robbins and landmark as well as coursework in internal family systems and conflict resolution and mediation. Joe received his coaching certification from the ICF and a Juris Doctor from Hofstra School of Law. Joe, welcome to the Rocketbook. Coach,

Joe Cohen 0:50
Michael, thanks for having me.

Micheal Pacheco 0:51
Yeah, man, I appreciate you making time to join us here. As always, I like to open up the podcast by simply inviting our guests to tell us a little bit more about yourself that maybe wasn’t in the bio and why you got into coaching.

Joe Cohen 1:06
Okay, so a little bit about me, how far back should I go?

Micheal Pacheco 1:11
The day I was born?

Joe Cohen 1:13
Yeah, I, you know, I do human capital consulting, which is kind of like HR strategy. I go into corporations into businesses and help them with their hiring, firing, culture, building, determining your values, corporate values, employee engagement, I help improve in that area. I also provide leadership training to different organizations, and executive coaching. And then my own coaching practice, I provide business coaching, all forms of coaching, not really, I don’t touch relationships or finances. My my niche, my specialty are really be small business startups and one on one performance coaching.

Micheal Pacheco 2:03
Okay, nice. Yeah, so I mean, tell us tell us a little bit more about why why you got into coaching, like what was it that really drew you you’ve got a JD in like a law degree, right? So what what drew you, either away from that or into coaching.

Joe Cohen 2:25
I was in my first year of law school. And it sucked, I realized I didn’t want to be a lawyer. I did a lot of soul searching at the time. I know that was kind of late in the game, I should have done it before law school. So I really did a lot of work on determining what my strengths are, what’s my personality type. And I went through a program where someone asked me, if you had $50 million, and you had to work eight hours a day, what would you do? And I said, Well, I would help people actualize their potential through consulting and coaching. I was already coaching before that, but it was more of a part time thing. And I with with the amount of energy I spoke with and passion, and other factors, he’s he helped me realize it. Maybe that’s the right thing for you to do. Yeah. So I did more research. And that’s how I got to where I’m at now.

Micheal Pacheco 3:26

Joe Cohen 3:27
Lot of training research. Working with hundreds of clients, and I love it.

Micheal Pacheco 3:33
Yeah, following your heart. Yes. Right on. Tell us more about your clients. Who is your your typical or ideal client that you work with? You mentioned small businesses and that sort of thing. Is there? Are there specific niches within that or?

Joe Cohen 3:48
No, the the principles that I teach are industry agnostic. I work with mid level managers, C suite executives in large corporations, but I also work with small business owners, real estate investors, people from all different industries.

Micheal Pacheco 4:09
Nice. What is the typical engagement with you look like?

Joe Cohen 4:13
In terms of the length, the cadence? Yeah, I mean, all of the above. Usually, it’s we start with a minimum of three months, consistent meeting once a week. And it depends on the type of client I’m working with, whether they are an employee or a business owner. There’s a different program for each. But what’s what, what applies to everyone is really figuring out where you’re at, where you want to be figuring out the gap, figuring out your vision, your goals, reverse engineering it, figuring out what mindset issues might be getting in the way helping you with the with the, I guess process mastery to taking consistent action steps, you know, figuring out also, is there do we need to work on your emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence would be self awareness, social awareness, emotional regulation, relationship management. So there’s a lot of different things we could work on. If we’re working with employees, managers, a lot of times they use a DISC assessment. I’m certified in both. Sure. And you’re probably very familiar with that. But for the listeners, the disc is to help you determine your communication style, for example, are you a high D, which is more of a dominant style? Are you a high eye, which is more of a influencer, you’d like you’d love to be around people. So there are different types and having self awareness around your type will help you be a better leader. And just better. Team Player.

Micheal Pacheco 6:00
Good. Yeah. So the this the way I kind of, I like to think about it. And maybe you have something to add to this, but I like to think of it like it kind of just helps you with a little more self awareness, learn, you learn, you can learn quite a bit more about yourself and what kind of situations you might thrive in, and what kind of situations you might approach differently.

Joe Cohen 6:22
I, I love that you said self awareness. And it was a phrase that I like to use, which is what you’re aware of your control of what you’re not aware of, it’s in control of you. And when you’re aware of it, when you’re aware of it, you’re free of it, it’s there, but you’re not affected by it. I think self awareness is the most important thing.

Micheal Pacheco 6:46
Yeah, how do you so short of what’s I mean, let’s let’s riff on that a little bit. Right, short of having someone take a DISC assessment? Well, let me rephrase that. If you have someone take a DISC assessment, how do you use that to work with them and help improve their self awareness? How do you work with people to increase their own self awareness?

Joe Cohen 7:09
Great question. So with, with, I’ll discuss how you do it with the disc and the BI emotional intelligence report. And also, what if you don’t have access to that, right. So most people probably have gotten constructive feedback in the past, you can ask your friends, your family members for constructive feedback. That doesn’t always work. Because a lot of times people don’t feel comfortable giving constructive feedback to you. They don’t want to rock the boat, as they say, right. That’s one way with the disc and emotional intelligence, there’s data there, it’s very accurate. And it shows you what your blind spots are, it shows you their strengths, but there’s also weaknesses to everything in life. So we, we discuss, what does this resonate with you, maybe sometimes you act like this, you’re a high C, which means you’re very conscientious. But a lot of times the high seas within the DISC profile, they tend to be more perfectionist, they also tend to avoid conflict. So that could be a blind spot. And that that could also be a weakness, but also, it’s a positive and a lot of ways to be a high C, because you want you look at data, you’re very analytical. Yeah, right, as opposed to the Heidi’s their, their great decision making, they don’t avoid conflict, they’ll step right into it, they want to however, they could be too forceful, they might come off with a little too, too aggressive. So that that can be a blind spot, that can be a weakness. So that’s how it shows up.

Micheal Pacheco 8:58
Yeah, and you can kind of help walk them through that and, you know, basically analyze the data that comes back from the disk. Absolutely. So for the one resource that all that I’ll throw in here, and we’ll include this in the show notes is I know Tony Robbins has a free DISC assessment. On his website, I think it’s Tony robbins.com Ford slash disc, and that’s di s, e. C as in cat not not with a K. Yeah, so I mean, that might be a place where, where if, for our listeners and viewers, if you guys are curious about this, you can go and check out that Tony Robbins test and then let’s move on to the emotional intelligence. Talk a little bit about about that and how that kind of if there’s any Interplay there with the DISC assessment and, and how that all kind of comes back to the self awareness.

Joe Cohen 9:53
You know, emotional intelligence is a very hot topic now. And there are many different assessments out there. The one that I use is through a MHS. They’re a company on in Canada, and they break it up into like 20 different competencies. So one could be empathy, one could be assertiveness. So for example, if someone shows up high with empathy, and the scores from let’s say, 70 to 120, there are 120 for empathy, but 80 for assertiveness, you know, what kind of leader do you think they’re going to be? How do you think they’re going to show up? How are their colleagues going to perceive them, like super sweet, friendly, I can go to you with all my problems, but the boundaries are going to be blurred. And maybe sometimes they’re not going to go to get things done. So the converse is also true high assertiveness, low empathy, they might come off as a tyrant, right? And not empathetic. So there’s a lot of great data there. And it really gives you like an x ray of your your emotional intelligence.

Micheal Pacheco 11:03
Yeah. Are you able to? Maybe this is built into your into your coaching programs, are you able to then work with your clients and help them either amplify their double down on their strengths, right, amplify their strengths, or work on their their weaknesses, so that, for example, right, high assertiveness, low empathy, and if you’re in a leadership position, with high assertiveness and low empathy, you can totally come across as a tyrant. I’ve pretty sure I’ve known some people like that before, I think we all we all probably have, are you able to work with with your clients then in a situation like that? To help, I guess, optimize, right, who they are, and how they work with with people and work with relationships around them?

Joe Cohen 11:51
Absolutely. What I what I like to do is figure out Yeah, like how you said, do we optimize your your strengths is that the verbiage that you use?

Micheal Pacheco 12:04
amplify the strength amplify, amplify?

Joe Cohen 12:07
So I would only work? I definitely would amplify the strengths, and I would only work on the weaknesses if it’s applicable. Yeah. So if it is assertiveness and empathy is always applicable. i There’s a lot of other areas, sure, not so applicable. And normally, we’ll just figure out like a three month game plan, figure out, give them a lot of exercises they can use and apply it in the workplace, and then we’ll discuss it in our conversations.

Micheal Pacheco 12:36
Would you talk a little bit about that? What kind of exercises do you do you give your to your clients to work on this sort of thing?

Joe Cohen 12:43
Well, I guess let’s go with the example of if someone showed up with low empathy, right, a leader, I would say, you know, just discussing different examples, one time a client of mine, he told me that he saw one of his colleagues walk into his boss’s office to talk about some important, important meeting and the boss said that everyone knew that the boss’s cat just died. And the cat was part of her family. So he did not acknowledge that he just jumped into it said, Well, you know, hey, no, Mrs. Susan. But can we talk about the project? Or what can we talk about the race, so pointing things out like that, so lack of empathy, or your your employee, your direct report, father just passed away, like give them time, be empathetic to what they might be dealing with? Give them time to go through that grieving process? Or if they showed up late to work, you know, instead of if it’s consistent, instead of yelling at them, being passive aggressive with them, maybe check in with them, ask them how they’re doing what’s going on? Not just acknowledge

Micheal Pacheco 14:06
the person before dealing with the employee a little bit.

Joe Cohen 14:10
Yeah, exactly. Interesting. Yeah.

Micheal Pacheco 14:16
Cool. Um, how do you find your clients? How do you market yourself as a coach?

Joe Cohen 14:23
I have not marketed myself yet. I will. I would like to start creating some content, some maybe podcasts and YouTube videos to make a bigger impact and put myself out there. But so far, clients have come from referrals. Right?

Micheal Pacheco 14:42
That’s great. How did you get your first client? How did you kind of how did you get the ball rolling, so to speak?

Joe Cohen 14:48
My first client was a a friend slash Yeah, he was a friend of mine. We weren’t close friends. But we knew of each other and I said Hey, this is what I can offer you. And I gave him a really good deal. And then we work together for like two years, and I raise the prices every every quarter. And he was really happy.

Micheal Pacheco 15:13
That’s great. That’s a great. That’s a classic. Yeah, that’s a classic way for any new coaches out there that may be listening. You know, get it give someone a good deal in exchange for some help and a testimonial. That’s right.

Joe Cohen 15:27
That’s right. You want to get out? Now I have a video testimonial for him on my website. So there you go.

Micheal Pacheco 15:34
Those testimonials are gold. Yeah. So speaking of, you know, new coaches, Joe, what sort of things did you? What sort of things did you struggle with? When you first started out?

Joe Cohen 15:49
As a coach, as a coach? Yeah. I’m a would say, being careful putting myself out there.

Micheal Pacheco 15:59
Okay. In terms of like marketing, your services, in

Joe Cohen 16:04
terms of marketing, to be transparent, being careful when I’m in conversations in groups, and it comes up like, hey, what do you do?

Micheal Pacheco 16:16
How putting that new identity?

Joe Cohen 16:20
I wasn’t, I had a hard time owning that in the beginning. Wow.

Micheal Pacheco 16:25
And how did you how did you end up overcoming that?

Joe Cohen 16:28
I’m really focusing on the amount of value that I provide to my clients. Thank God, I have over 50 testimonials on my website. And that’s a fraction of them. And a lot of those people have had a big impact on their lives. People have cried to me and thanked me for changing their lives around. So having that in mind, the impact that I’m having on people’s lives like this is something to be proud of. Right? So that’s, that’s what I keep in mind. Like I’m doing great work.

Micheal Pacheco 17:09
Yeah. That’s, that’s great. I was having a conversation with with someone else earlier today. And I was telling him a story that I’ll share here as well. I had a, I have a sales coach that told me not, you know, maybe two months ago that I struggle with that myself with with owning my power and and kind of selling my services. And what they told me is if you truly and honestly believe that you can help someone, and you don’t tell them that you can help them, and you can help them get to where they want to go to help them solve a problem, then you’re doing them a disservice. Because they want that problem solved. They’re actively seeking to solve that problem. And if you truly believe that you can help them, it’s your moral obligation to put yourself out there, is it more uncomfortable in his response was is it? Is it worth? Is it worth helping someone? If all it means is you have to feel a little bit uncomfortable? Which I thought was a great a great way to kind of frame that in terms of you know, feeling uncomfortable putting yourself out there.

Joe Cohen 18:33
If we had enough time, I’ll do some roleplay with you to on that specific topic. But yeah, I could I could help you in that area. Not that you need it. But if you wanted to discuss this.

Micheal Pacheco 18:47
I love it. Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Cohen 18:49
I mean, it’s because the same, the same principles apply. I have coaches that her clients and the same principles would apply, for example, is it okay, if we go on, go off and go on this for a second is your podcast my brother, just to provide some value? Because I think if there are a lot of coaches, it can be any body doesn’t really matter what you do. If you believe in what you’re doing, you’re helping people. These ideas would help. So I had a client who was a coach. Unfortunately, she was amazing in what she did. I don’t want to give too many details, but she was amazing in what she did. And she was great at the influence. She had charisma. She had emotional intelligence. People liked her. They trust her. The process part of it. She wasn’t executing the advice that I would give her in terms of marketing, getting clients. She wasn’t taking any actions at all. The mindset piece, she was okay. But she wasn’t able to bring in business and her mindset was also just Pulling over impact and how she would take action. Unfortunately, she had to go get a nine to five job, and it’s a soul sucking job. She doesn’t like what she does. She’s not showing up with passion, she’s not showing up to her family with passion, she doesn’t have time to spend with her kids. So if she had someone like you, for example, because I know you’re great at what you do, and you’re able to help her, you’re not just helping her, you’re also impacting our family, you can be saving our marriage. You can because of what the type of coaching she does, she’s making an impact. So it has a ripple effect.

Micheal Pacheco 20:42
Yeah, that’s great. Um, this is this is that speaks to a lot of things in why I choose to do what I do and why. You know, we talk about this at our team meetings at boxer every week, right? It’s for us, it’s the second and third order effects. And fourth order effects, right. It’s that ripple effects that you mentioned. Yeah, as a marketing agency, there’s only so much that we can do to directly impact someone’s life. But if we can help coaches get the word out and improve leadership and prove vulnerability, you know, they’re making changes in companies which trickles down to families, which expands communities, right. I mean, this is this is stuff that that really makes a big difference in society, because that ripple effect in the way that it you know, it’s like the lead Domino, right? If you can, you can knock over that lead Domino, all the other ones are just going to naturally fall and, and that’s, I mean, that’s something to be proud of. Right.

Joe Cohen 21:50
Absolutely. I agree with you. Yeah.

Micheal Pacheco 21:55
Talk a little bit about identity talk, talk some more about that. I think you’ve got I think you’ve got a lot to say about that.

Joe Cohen 22:02
Okay, identity, identity, identity, in terms of how you perceive yourself. Yeah, okay. So I think identity is the most important thing in life. Right? How you perceive yourself, and most of us don’t know who we are. And I’ve been on a journey myself. And I’ve done a lot of work on myself to start being more authentic, less concerned about judgment. And I’ll get into that if we have time for that. But I would say there’s some ideas regarding like, identity shifting. Right. You know, think about the Michelangelo, piece, the famous sculpture, right, and you could help me out. I’m gonna try, I’m gonna botch it up. But Michelangelo basically carved around it. Right? Is that chiseled around the rocks?

Micheal Pacheco 23:06
Or the rock? Talking about David, the statue of David? Statue of David. And I think the famous, the famous quote that I think you might be driving at is that the statue is already in there. He just has to chip away the excess.

Joe Cohen 23:20
Yes, that’s right. Yeah. So same thing with us. We just got to chip away the bad behaviors, the limiting beliefs, right? Identify the trauma. I have, I have a lot of, I’m not a victim. I don’t see myself that way. But I, things happened to me when I was young. And there’s trauma that people have experience that they’re not even aware of, they never process. So you got to dig deep. Identify that trauma, because just saying affirmations and thinking positive is not going to be sufficient. It’s NES, I’d say it’s helpful. It’s great. You should do it, but it’s not sufficient. So there’s a lot of things you got to do to do. You have to do a lot of deeper work on yourself to identify the real you. And it’s a lot of work. But I think that is the the core. That’s the most important thing to focus on.

Micheal Pacheco 24:18
Why is it so important to rewrite old stories that don’t serve you? That makes sense?

Joe Cohen 24:35
It’s so obvious to me, I don’t even know where to start. And I take there’s a lot of things that I take for granted that I don’t even tell my clients. I don’t tell people Mike, of course you would know this, but why is it to recap your question? Why is it important to rewrite the stories? Right? Yeah. Okay, stories

Micheal Pacheco 24:58
and specifically the stories that are aren’t serving you, right? So again, you’re you’re talking about trauma, right. And that’s and that trauma may lead to a self narrative self imposed narrative about yourself that it has implied self limiting beliefs. And like all this other stuff that stacks on,

Joe Cohen 25:19
let me tell you how it plays in my life to be vulnerable. So in my life, I’ll give you one example out of 1000 that have happened to me. I remember, we moved around a lot. I went to three different military schools, boarding schools, and at around 11 years old, we lived in California, my wonderful mom, she’s a survivor. She’s amazing. But our hands are tied. She had it, she had it, she had a tough, she was a single mom. And she sent me away to live with another family, on the east coast. Good family. But I got sent away at a young young age, and I bounced around a lot very early. So at that age stage in life, I don’t remember what I thought. But it’s very possible that I learned this in therapy in intense men’s groups, and in other ways that there’s probably a little boy, there’s probably that little part of me, that feels like he wasn’t an important 100% probably feels unworthy. Is that you agree with that. Yeah. So if I didn’t rewrite that story, I’m taking that into my present life. And how’s that going to show up? In my relationship, in my business, with friends, hey, my just making this up a call my my friend. He didn’t call me back for two days. I’m not important. I’m not worthy. I go into a event, go to a wedding. People don’t say hi to me. They don’t smile on me. My I’m looking at the world through my blurred vision, my own lens, right? Don’t do I’m not important lens. So I walk out, I leave. That’s the importance of rewriting your story. Now, most people Michael don’t even know they need to rewrite their stories. It’s true. And that’s why self awareness is the foundation of everything.

Micheal Pacheco 27:37
Most people don’t even realize that they have those stories, or that those stories are rewritable. Right? That’s even an option to redefine these self imposed beliefs that come from childhood from

Joe Cohen 27:54
Yeah. Can I get a little bit more personal with you? By all means? Okay. So I was in therapy for a couple years. With a few different therapists, they identified Okay, you got PTSD, no psychiatric disorders, no other issues, never been depressed. But I had trauma that I never would acknowledged. And then I tried something called psychedelics, psychedelic therapy. And I feel myself doing it. And on that film, it showed that I was expressing a lot of emotions. Uh huh. I was crying. Uh huh. For the first time. Well, my brother was killed. He was stabbed five times when I was 18. I didn’t cry at his funeral. I was Mr. Tough guy for my mom. When I went through all the things I went through in life being jumped by skinheads, or whatever it was like, it was just about taking revenge and being a tough guy. I never processed anything. Uh huh. I cried like a baby for probably 10 minutes on that video. And I did another form of psychedelic therapy called ketamine with a wonderful, wonderful organization called the neshamah clinic in Manhattan. And I, the doctor told me, you were crying. You’re emoting? That’s the word they used more than normal. I have over 40 years of emotions to release. Uh huh. And that’s not something I was aware of. Uh huh. So imagine let me ask you like, how do you think that would have impacted me? How do you think that’s impacted me in life? I dropped a lot of that emotional weight. But how do you think that was impacted me?

Micheal Pacheco 29:53
I suspect it opened up a lot of doors you know, in Enter innerspace doors, right? Yeah, I mean, I’ve done I’ve done a program. There weren’t psychedelics involved in this program, but it was it was a, essentially a group coaching program for men who also family men who also owned businesses. And we did a big week long retreat. And I can’t, I’m actually under an NDA. So I can’t get into the specifics of it about what all took place there. But I can say that there was a lot of a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of tears. And I did this last August 41 years old, I did it last August for the first time. And it took me 41 years to realize that one of my big stories was about abandonment from my father. And my mother was also a single mom, and my dad took off, I think, when I was six or seven years old, they had joint custody up until then. And I didn’t really see him again, after that. I had the story in my head, that I wasn’t good enough, right. Same kind of thing. And my wife was pregnant at the time. Our daughter was born on March first, and she’s amazing. She’s wonderful. And that, going into that program, I was terrified to be a dad. Because I didn’t want to fuck up the same way that my dad did. Yeah. And yeah, and so what that did I mean, for me, I can’t you asked me, you know, what that maybe did for you. So I’m just trying to put it into terms that I can understand until about what happened with me it just going into that weekend, I didn’t know that that whole week, that whole retreat was going to be about my father, I had no clue. That was the thing for me. And the brilliant coaches that we were working with there at the powerful man, where they got us through that. And it was just it was it was absolutely phenomenal. I couldn’t be happier to be a dad right now. I’m so excited about fatherhood. My daughter is amazing. And that story is that story is rewritten now, because I found the self awareness, I realized the story, I acknowledged it. And once I did the deep work of acknowledging that story. At that point, I could access it with my logical brain and be like, That’s ridiculous. And it was you write the story, but I just had to get it up to the surface, if that makes sense.

Joe Cohen 33:04
Absolutely. Yeah. And I want to just say, I honor you for doing that deep work.

Micheal Pacheco 33:11
It’s not easy, and it wasn’t fun.

Joe Cohen 33:14
No, but that’s great that you did that. I’m I’m so happy to hear that. I didn’t have a father growing up either. So I can I can resonate with that. Yeah.

Micheal Pacheco 33:28
Yeah, it’s the rewriting is really, I mean, for me, at least, that was the easy part. Because once I got that story to the surface, I could just see like, logically, it was a ridiculous story.

Joe Cohen 33:41
Yeah, it had

Micheal Pacheco 33:42
none of that had anything to do with me. Well, you’re

Joe Cohen 33:45
one of the lucky few, that once it came up, you’re able to identify that, because a lot of people that I work with, they’re aware of it. Thankfully, we create that self awareness. But they need to constantly remind themselves of it. Because it’s, it does drift away. And our lower selves. They have a good sign a bad side, whatever you want to call it, it does want us to forget, for some reason. So

Micheal Pacheco 34:19
let’s talk a little bit about your coaching techniques. If you don’t, if you if you if you would and tell us a little bit about what you what kind of techniques do you use to help remind themselves to to stay in their power and to remind themselves of, you know, a new narrative that is empowering and not restricting?

Joe Cohen 34:46
It depends on who I’m working with. I have a big toolbox of strategies. One thing that I like to do is I imported a tool from CBT cognitive cognitive behavioral therapy. something called the ABC thought log. Okay. And basically, I have a lot of my clients do this every morning, or with every situation, part of their routine to start off with self awareness. How do you feel when you wake up or throughout the day? If there’s a situation that happened that cause you to be anxious, let’s identify the event activating event, right? What’s the emotional consequence? I feel anxious. What’s the belief? Well, my boss did not respond to me in over two weeks about my request for a race. So that’s the belief. That’s, that’s, that’s actually a fact. The belief is I’m sorry. The belief is, I’m not going to get a raise. They don’t like me. Right. Right. Right. So how do we weaken that? Because it’s, it’s causing emotional, it’s causing you to become anxious, which impacts your productivity, how efficient you are. We weaken it. How do we weaken it? We ask questions. Is there any evidence to cast doubt on that belief? Name some evidence. All there? Are there alternative possibilities? Another question, is this belief extreme? Right? There’s a whole list of questions that I take my clients through, and then identify the cognitive distortion, what I mean by cognitive distortion, just for the viewers, black and white thinking catastrophizing, magnifying, so I’m making, you know, a mountain out of a molehill. Mind reading, if someone’s not smiling to me, they’re not talking to me, they seem a little tough around the edges, they don’t read their mind, they don’t like me. So I’m going to mirror that I’m gonna reflect that. So the list goes on.

Micheal Pacheco 37:09
What you really want. So part of part of sounds like part of what you’re really teaching people is just, you got to give people the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone’s dislikes you not everyone’s out to get you. There’s just everyone, everyone out there in the world has their own thing going on. They’ve got their own problems they’ve been dealing with, you know, the wedding example you use before, if you go to a wedding, and someone doesn’t say hi to you, they’re probably just catching up with someone else they haven’t seen in years because people meet at weddings, and they haven’t seen in years and years. Right, you know, benefit of the doubt sometime? Yeah.

Joe Cohen 37:49
And there’s a lot of other things I kind of read. It depends on my client. I have some clients, they don’t, they’re not compassionate enough to themselves. They don’t show empathy to themselves. So it really depends on what their, what their challenges are. And then I kind of custom tailor strategies that’s best for them. Like,

Micheal Pacheco 38:13
do I want to be respectful of your time here? We’re coming to the top of the hour. Tell us about your mastermind group.

Joe Cohen 38:20
Yeah, I have a mastermind group for business owners. So we meet bi monthly, twice a month. And there’s accountability. There’s strategies peer support. And that’s, that’s what that looks like.

Micheal Pacheco 38:38
Where can people go to learn more about that?

Joe Cohen 38:41
They can go to my website to learn more about me and about everything that I offer, and that’s 40 pillars.com. That’s the number 40. Then pillars pi ll ars.com.

Micheal Pacheco 38:54
Or zero pillars.com. We’ll include that link in the show notes as well. Joe, one more thing, where can our viewers and listeners connect with you online? Obviously, your website 40 pillars.com. Are you on social media, LinkedIn, that sort of thing?

Joe Cohen 39:10
I am. I guess I’m going to have to ask you to put some of the links in the in the interview because I don’t remember the names. Candy. I’m so active, but I need to become more active this year. Yeah,

Micheal Pacheco 39:25
yeah. Well, we’ll connect with you offline and get those links and we’ll add those to the show notes. Thank you. That’s what I got. Joe Cohen, thank you so much for taking the time to join us on this has been a great conversation. It was my pleasure.

Joe Cohen 39:38
Thank you. Thanks for having me. It’s great speaking with you.

Micheal Pacheco 39:41
Thank you and thank you to our viewers and listeners. This has been the remarkable coach podcast. We’ll see you guys next time. Cheers. Cheers.

Think you'd be a great fit for the podcast?

Apply now to be our next guest!

Check Out Boxer Services

Be different

Enhance Your Brand

Most coaches struggle to explain what differentiates them from the next guy, let alone why your hot new prospect should pay you $10k more than your competitor who is seriously undercutting you.
Establish Your Authority

Establish Your Authority

Social Omnipresence allows you to meet your ideal prospects where they’re at by amplifying your authority across the same social media platforms where your clients are already spending their time.


Expand Your Network

What would you do with 300 new leads connected with you on LinkedIn each month? You’d probably build relationships with those prospects a lot faster, turn those relationships into clients, and make a lot more money!

Leverage Your Website

Elevate Your Website

You’ve established your brand and your authority. You’ve grown your social following and your LinkedIn following exponentially. People look up to you, they know you have answers, and they want to visit your website to learn more.

Before you go...

…how about another newsletter? 😉

In all seriousness, you’ll love this one. Five minutes each week with illuminating insights & amplifying spotlights from the world of business, branding, coaching, and marketing.

If that sounds like your speed, we’re more than happy to have you.