Hello,
[00:00:00] Kevin Stafford: everyone, and welcome to another episode of the conversations with coaches podcast. I’m your host, Kevin, and I am. Quite pleased to finally, feels like it’s been a while, make the acquaintance, we’ve emailed back and forth a few times here and there, of Sarah Kambada. Kambada? Did I get that right? Yes.
That’s perfect. Yes. Sarah, just to give you a little bit of a taste, is a professional certified leadership and life coach through the International Coaching Federation, the ICF. As the CEO of Dreams Transform Reality Coaching, LLC, she’s an expert at helping women overcome imposter syndrome. And develop courage and confidence.
Sarah, I’ve already been excited to talk to you about New York city dreams and mass transit and community theater. We’ll leave that on the cutting room floor. I didn’t hit record, so obviously it’s not even there, but thank you so much for sharing a little bit of time and a little bit of yourself with me today.
I’m excited to just talk about what it is you get up to and why you’re passionate about
it.
[00:00:49] Sarah Khambatta: Oh my gosh. I’m so excited to be here and have this conversation with you. Thank you for inviting
[00:00:54] Kevin Stafford: me. My pleasure. I can tell already. It’s been my pleasure and I’m excited to talk to you about what’s your reason for being is now I like to, I want to obviously we’ll get into the overcoming imposter syndrome, which is, that’s huge for everyone, but I’m really excited to talk to you about that.
But first, how did you get your powers? What’s your superhero origin story as a coach? Okay. Okay. How did you start on this path? And it’s so many different things for so many different people, but I’m always curious to know how you got
[00:01:19] Sarah Khambatta: started. It’s such a great question, so I had my first group of women in at Bard College in New York, where I went to school, and and so it was actually slightly around this time, maybe slightly before this time, so I was working in theater, and the thing that I loved about it was the script analysis, so being able to look at a script and see the How did, what happened to the person before they got here?
What had to happen to them in order for them to have this climax, this dynamo, this whole like change of character, the psychic development, what had to happen in this play to get them to the end? And what was the playwright trying to say, to the world about this story, not just about this person or this, character, but what’s the message.
And I was an actor for a long time, but what really got me was the characters, the people, the humans, that element of development, that element of who we are, what we’re doing here, and, what is our destiny for each person? And I guess, what is the message that I, the omniscient or the power that is that he’s trying to tell.
[00:02:27] Kevin Stafford: I, I cannot tell you how fascinated I am by that, by your use of script analysis as your entry point that’s got my brain firing in all sorts of different directions, because I think that way too, quite a bit where it’s just a lot of people might balk a little bit at that term when applied to one’s personal journey, through life personally or professionally, but there’s a lot, it’s obviously it’s not scripted, there’s no fate, but what you make it, you can have your freedom or whatever, but still there’s just a way that Life happens a way that the events are ordered when they make sense when they feel right when they’re moving in the right direction and I feel like it’s such a great position to start from just that understanding of a character’s journey through a narrative and then just because there is we could talk all day just about script analysis as like a subset of the creative arts.
But I just love that applied to as a place to start and applied to the personal professional journey of someone who’s whatever it is they’re trying to do. I feel like it’s like the applications are borderline universal, but I love the specificity of your beginning point of focus. That’s just, that’s fascinating.
I love that.
[00:03:28] Sarah Khambatta: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it’s what got me. And it’s so when something happens in life, do we do status quo or do we take it on? And, is the person constantly changing and growing? Okay. So that gets me to coaching basically. And, I’ve been coaching for 10 years. I’ve been, working with hundreds of people.
It’s mainly women at this point. And it really comes down to, what does each person want and how do we get them to develop beyond the fears of what they want? And so getting them to look at what the fears are, getting them to move beyond it, find their zone of genius and take the reins.
Of their destiny take the reins of where they want to go level up, and stop burning out because usually it’s people who are burning out or maybe overworking or that type of thing. And so how do we get them to the next level? That is enjoyable and fun. And not stuck in the story of what has them be status quo or the story of the fears of imposter syndrome.
[00:04:31] Kevin Stafford: That’s such a huge part of good coaching is just, it’s so simple when you lay it out like that. It’s just I’m just going to draw attention. I’m going to draw your attention to some of these things that you’re avoiding or bumping into. That’s, and that’s so much of the job of a coach.
And obviously there’s a lot more that goes into it, but so much of it. It’s just what’s that what’s going on over there. Let’s talk about that for a minute. , what’s this? Yeah, what’s this fear? What’s the thing over here? It’s like, why don’t you wanna talk about it? Let’s talk about it.
Let’s explore it a little bit. And then, so you get so much from that, that then all of the, all the structures and the frameworks and the approaches and all the other future guidance, it just it, it falls right out of that natural just drawing of attention, which is such a, I think it’s an overlooked aspect of a good coach that, obvi it’s overlooked because it’s so obvious.
[00:05:13] Sarah Khambatta: you are so right. I think and a lot of times people don’t. Spend the time to look and see what. So a lot of times people will come to the call and say, oh, I haven’t even thought about what’s going on for me. I haven’t thought about where I’m stuck because they’re so busy, pushing or people pleasing and doing whatever they’re doing to get to the next level.
And so just having the hour, every other week, just having the time to reflect, like you’re saying, and look at what’s so and what’s possible and, really uncovering what’s going on under there.
[00:05:41] Kevin Stafford: Yeah, and some people for whether through a time crunch or because they actually are subconsciously giving into their fears, they want to just skip to the part where you give them the answers.
Where it’s that’s not what I’m here for. That’s not what a coach does. Where a coach is going to help you figure out the actual questions. And then we’re going to get to the answers. If you want, if you just want a, an answer so you can feel satisfied, why don’t you just go buy a book, never read it, let it collect dust on your shelf, if that’s your approach.
Bye. If you’re ready to work, it’s not going to take that long. It really isn’t. You almost have to like, calm them down, be like it’s really, you’re going to get so much more of your time back. You’ll wonder why you didn’t do this sooner.
[00:06:16] Sarah Khambatta: Yeah. Yeah. I remember early on, I remember hearing Cheryl Richardson talk about it’s what you take away.
From the person’s schedule, from their thoughts, from their being. It’s not what you add. We always think, oh, I got to start going to the gym. That’s a good one. But, I’ve got to start and we pile on. Instead of, what’s one thing we can eliminate from the schedule right now?
Or what’s one thing that can be delegated one thing and just, the peeling of, the person or appealing away of stuff. And then it’s oh, my gosh, we’ve got this beautiful, plant or tree that’s trying to blossom. So naturally, just by taking things away,
[00:06:53] Kevin Stafford: it’s so funny. I have a very weird specific reference.
I’m going to try and lay on you. Maybe you’ve experienced, or maybe you’ve had one of these when you were a kid, or I’ve seen them before. Do you know those little toys and they’re 4 by 4 cubes and they’ve got. Yeah. One through 15 as numbers on these little pieces of plastic inside this little slider.
So it’s this little cube and it’s got basically like space for 16 squares. There are 15 numbered ones and they’re all mixed up. And the point of the puzzle, point of the puzzle is to get them to get one through 15 in order and you’ve only got that one little space to move stuff around. So you kind, it’s good for like spatial awareness.
I remember playing with one when I was a kid for like endless hours and I’ve always I, I’ve come back to that so many times and what you just said just sparked that memory of me with my little tiny thumbs as a kid trying to figure out how to move things around to get them in order. And one thing that occurred to me.
A few years ago, not that long ago actually, is how so many people are walking around with their little 1 through 16 cubes completely full. Nothing can move. And so nothing can change. And that that ability to just take just, it doesn’t take much, just take one of those little cubes out, all of a sudden things can move a little bit.
And you’re like, oh, I think maybe I can get this in order.
[00:08:01] Sarah Khambatta: Yes. Yeah. I love that analogy too of moving it around and adjusting it because I feel like a lot of times people and myself, in the past would walk around just holding the thing without moving things around without adjusting anything and just saying like, why won’t this move?
Expecting it to be done without doing anything to make it move and to make it change. And it’s really what we’re talking about. It’s like small adjustments, make all the difference in the world, small adjustments, raise your hand once a, once a week or, do something that’s different.
I’ve even heard people say, drive home a different way when people used to drive, home from work, maybe some people still do but, drive a different way somewhere and just see what it opens up in your brain and your neural pathways. And, what different reflections and thoughts come to you.
That’s such a simplified version of that. That’s I’ve
[00:08:52] Kevin Stafford: always been a walker and obviously even more so in the last few years, but that’s something that I adapted for myself. It’s I’ll have like my neighborhood walks and there’ll be like, dogs and cats and like neighborhood animals I’ll be able to see.
And like little couples, like I’ll see older couples walking around here and there at certain times in the morning and I’ll get to wave which is just great. But then one thing that I learned to adopt pretty early is, there’s only so many different times you can walk the same street in the same direction.
So I was like, you know what, I’m just going to go the opposite way, or I’m going to walk on the other side of the street today. Just that and like the things that you see. Everything feels familiar, but just a little bit different, and you’re seeing things from a slightly different angle, literally, which is why doing that, having that habit in my life, helped me to realize how important that is in everything else I do.
Just do little things a little bit differently than you usually do, and you will be Shocked, surprised, flabbergasted, in awe, delighted by how things begin to shake loose in other areas of your life. Just the tiniest little things, and I know that sounds almost trite and trivial, but that’s really all it takes to get started.
[00:09:55] Sarah Khambatta: It’s so true. Coaching is really just simple. It’s really straightforward and simple and being able to read those cues I read somewhere and we can move on. But I read somewhere about walking how it’s actually not only the most healthy thing for you physically. But it’s also healthy for you emotionally because when you’re walking, your eyes are moving back and forth, which is something they use in therapeutic settings like EMDR and stuff, but your brain, right brain, left brain, right brain, left brain.
And that is, that’s why it feels so good to get out of your, home and go walking, but it’s very healing for the brain too.
[00:10:28] Kevin Stafford: Clearly, I warned you that I would get so drawn into little tangents and sub tangents. I knew you had, I knew you had the kind of brain and the kind of heart I was going to just love to interact with.
So I’ll get us back on track here because I do want to spend at least a little bit of time talking about like the nuts and bolts of your practice. Obviously, you’ve been at this for a while and all good coaches, you’ve learned how to narrow your focus to expand your impact, so let’s talk about.
How you coach, who you coach, how you coach them, what you focus on, approach that question from any direction you’d like. Just talk about like your business and who you help and who you serve.
[00:11:01] Sarah Khambatta: Yeah. So I would say, what’s unique about what I do is that I am my client. I was my client, so I wasn’t born confident.
And now I’m telling you how, with no idea what it means to struggle, I know. Really intimately what that’s and so that’s the first thing. The second thing is, how I work with people. So I use systems coaching. Which is, size or strange, which is organizational relationship systems coaching and combining that with inner child loving parent work.
That’s what I do in my coursework. I have groups that have coaches that have courses with them, and that’s what I do there. And so that’s relatively new to do the coursework, but people loved it so many times, through the pandemic, we did this over and over. That it’s just like now it’s a six month rotating thing.
It’s a cohort. And I like it when people really get to know each other, support each other, take massive action. And so we do the inside work, they’re taking action and it builds their confidence. It’s that thing of moving the cube. And that’s what gets the results. And people say I have, I had no idea how much this would change my life when I started.
And I almost wish I could have people know about that when they start. And how I do that is I ask them to take a picture and then, compare at the end. And so they can actually see the structure of their face. They’re, their body usually changes because of how they feel about their themselves, their bodies that, their impact in the world changes.
So you know, their zone of genius is now aware, they’re aware of it, they’re living in it, they’re working in it and playing in it. And life is more fulfilling.
[00:12:44] Kevin Stafford: I’m so glad you said play. Cause that’s really that’s almost your, it’s, insofar as there is a destination, which there’s not, it’s an ongoing journey, but that sense of play back into your personal and professional life, it’s it’s one of the first things to go.
It’s one of the first things we get rid of. When we’re trying to make room for other stuff, I think, and getting back to a place in your life where that can be reintroduced, not just as like a token or as a sidecar, but as a central aspect of the way you move through the world, your shoulders go back and down.
And you’re just like, your head’s a little higher up. And for some reason, because your body is straighter, you’re breathing more easily. It’s there’s just this cascading positive effect that again, starts from the beginning. And I just. I want to say this because it just, it tickles me to no end.
I love how much we love homework now. It’s no, please give me coursework. It really helps. And it’s we begin life just because most of us, not all of us. Some people just love homework and that’s fine. I went through a phase as well, but like we used to hate homework. It’s the worst thing in the world.
I it’s taking my, I’ll, I want, I don’t want to do work at home. I want to do play at home, but now we’re just like, Oh, give me. Give me things to do so I can build on this so I can work on this. And then I love how you had that back and forth. And I love how you highlight that with your cohort, where it’s taking the action and then bringing those lessons back into the group as well.
And, sharing your results, because then you end up in this beautiful position where you’re essentially just like the conductor of the symphony. Where you’re like you’re coaching is going back and forth and in between the people in the group so that you’re basically just standing there watching.
It’s like with a smile on your face. Ah, look at him go
[00:14:13] Sarah Khambatta: in a sense. It’s very easy because they are coaching each other, and yeah, and I’m just, and of course I’m there as well coaching, but yeah, they get a lot of encouragement from each other in that space. And, yeah. So it’s fun to watch.
It’s fun to be part of and and they change and grow. And I think it happens more rapidly. So we’re looking at doing a three month course coming up here. So yeah, there’s, and, oh, that’s what I was going to say. So they’re all high achievers. They’re usually just high achievers. That’s who comes to me all, if disc their D or, sometimes I, and yeah, so they’re all, really high performers, so they love homework.
They love to do something. And even if it’s not just written. Some of it’s like journal work, and some of it is a meditation to get them to loop into their more gentle nature and to get to loop into their loving parent, which they may have never thought about before, because they’re such go getters.
And what’s the next promotion? What’s the next level? How can I make more? Move up faster, that kind of thing. And but the fascinating thing is even the people who are high achievers like that, they have that imposter syndrome right in the moment when it matters, no matter if they’re an executive, they’re direct, whatever they are right when it matters, that sabotage, comes in and just, it almost like.
Yeah, evaporates the confidence. So it’s important that in between our sessions, they’re doing this meditation and it’s so short, but it’s repetition. So they can loop into it in the matter, in the moments that really matter and speak up for themselves. Usually at the end of the six months, when I’m working with people one on one, they get their promotion, that’s the, those are the goods, they get their promotion, they get their raise, whatever they were after, that, that’s always good, to have that.
I think the thing that really excites me, is that they are living on fire, on purpose, present, open. Alive and they do different things. Also, redo their kitchen or, like strange things that kind of accompany what their major result was. And that’s just makes me happy because I know it’s going to be continuing.
[00:16:20] Kevin Stafford: That’s just evidence right there. That is that is evidence of a successful experience because, yeah, it’s the same way for me to whenever I’m in my best states, I’m seeing. The most common things in my life from a new perspective and I’m like, Oh, I can, I now have the space to ask myself this question.
And it’s could I improve this space? And I’m a home, I’m such a, like a nester. So if there’s a chance to like, we all look at stuff and was like, if I move this here and move that there, I get all this more. So I get this counter space and, Oh, this is great. And that’s just the way, but when I have the space, that’s the way my brain will start to work the way my heart will start to move.
And I really love that. You said on fire. Cause there’s just, there is a warmth and a light that is both for you and the, and that’s another great thing too. And something that you don’t get to see nearly as often as the coach, but the secondary and tertiary effects of your coaching, how the fire you helped someone light in themselves is warming the people in their lives is lighting the way for other people in their lives.
And that’s just, that’s where I started to get almost like emotional about it because you really like, you never, you don’t, you seldom get to see those effects, but you know that they’re there. Yeah. Because you know how fire works, you’ve built, you’ve helped people build a lot of them in your days. So that’s why you do what you do, because you know how it works.
And you know how wonderful it is to have that shared and to radiate outward from you.
[00:17:33] Sarah Khambatta: Honestly, that’s so beautiful. And that is such an important reason for coming into coaching too, is because it changes the lives of the people that are around. And I would have loved to have had a coach when I was like 12.
Or 18 or 24 or any of those things. And yeah, to impact the families to for the families to say, hey, this 1 woman who said, her kids never saw her because she was working in the back and her husband will cook dinner and then they, so she never had dinner with them.
And and that was an offshoot of 1 of the reasons why we were working together because her life was. Like that status quo thing. And at the end they said, they were like, who are you, mommy? You’re here at dinner every night. And, they were, and they were like five and seven years old, I think at the time.
And to know that those kids are going to get their mom and to know that she’s now present to the change that can make for them and for her family and that she deserves to have like her whole family and not just. Say yes at work and be working like 70 hours a week or whatever.
[00:18:37] Kevin Stafford: That’s the stuff right there. That’s I mean there are lots of reasons to get into coaching there’s a great expression of your gifts or your skills or your personal experiences or all of the above a desire to serve a particular community or serve a particular industry or all of the above and then some and Really?
It’s just it comes down to that like you get those that feedback you get that story where it’s you know what you helped me And this is what it meant. This is what it’s continuing to mean. And it’s just that’s that’s when you go to sleep at night you have the sweetest of dreams.
Cause you’re just thinking about that kind of story and that kind of service you’re providing. I don’t know. I get very like emotionally attached to just like the concept of coaching. Especially when I’m talking to one and you just shared that story. And I’m like, I’m feeling a little bit in my chest about it.
Like just a little, a tiny bit like verklempt. It’s just the tiniest little bit because because I’m open to that because that’s why I love doing this podcast. It’s why I love talking to coaches, why I love coaching because that’s what we’re trafficking in. That’s what we’re trying to do is what the purpose we’re trying to serve.
I just, ah, I get beside myself with emotion. So I’m just sharing that. I love that. That’s beautiful. Yeah.
[00:19:37] Sarah Khambatta: Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. And it’s beautiful that, you’re making a difference by doing this podcast too. I have to say, leading it from a space of like heart and leading it from a space of curiosity and doing it yourself.
It changes the world that much more.
[00:19:52] Kevin Stafford: Every little bit helps. And also it’s let’s get to a point where we don’t wait till we’re on the verge of burnout. Before we reach out for a coach. That’s part of why I love this podcast and why I just love just adding to the voice of the growing coaching industry is just sure.
Triage happens, maybe you’re on the verge of burnout and y’all coach can come in and really help you and there’s preventative care.
Preventative
[00:20:14] Sarah Khambatta: coaching. Yeah, if everyone went for preventative care. Yes, and coaching. Yeah. And actually that reminds me, I should tell you, I have a little mini course now, which is for that because in the olden days of when I had like anxiety and I would have to do. Public speaking, I would look on the internet, like, how do I solve the panic, and there’s like nothing out there that can help you.
They’re like, go to Toastmasters or, read this book and how long is this going to take? I’m like speaking in a wedding, next week, and so the idea came from there. How do we pivot people that are in panic now? And so I created a mini course, which is imposter syndrome, be gone little nod to Wayne Dyer, be gone.
And yeah, and it’s meant to help shift people’s thinking and shift what their outcome is. And that’s brand new. So imposter syndrome be gone. Yeah.
[00:21:07] Kevin Stafford: Oh, okay. First of all, I could just, I could do this with you all day. You’re just, you’re really fun to talk to. Not just because you’re fun to talk to, but because of what we’re talking about.
But before I let you go, and I regret to say that I must, I want to links to everything, where to find you, where you’re active on social media, how to connect with you, the, what the URL for that mini course, if it’s just on your website, just give me all the information that I can stuff into the show notes for the audience.
Okay, great.
[00:21:31] Sarah Khambatta: I love that. Yeah. Thank you. And thank you for having me. So it’s my website, which is dreams, transform reality. com. And because it all starts with a dream dreams, transform reality. com and the courses on there, they can find it under courses. And that’s where imposter syndrome begun is. And then I’m on Instagram.
It’s just my name at Sarah underscore combata. And yeah, that’ll probably help to have that in the show notes. And I’m also on LinkedIn under the same, so they can find me in, on Instagram and LinkedIn and on my website, which was probably the best place to find me.
[00:22:05] Kevin Stafford: Website’s always a good hub.
Obviously, everything links from the website. Everything, all the spokes in the wheel.
[00:22:13] Sarah Khambatta: Yeah, every event that I do, so I do vision workshops, I do imposter syndrome workshops, which are free, that’s also on the website under events.
[00:22:21] Kevin Stafford: Nice. Dang it. I’ll have to say goodbye for now. This has been a delight genuinely.
I’m, yeah I’m not kidding. I’m like, I got a little beside myself, really getting positive emotion from that, in particular, that story of reconnecting with your family. It’s like, where are, who are you, mommy? Just gutted me just a tiny little bit. And yeah, and I’m just, first of all, I’m very grateful to have had this conversation with you today.
I am personally buoyed by it. So I’m, like, selfishly grateful I got to talk to you. And I’m just I’m I love that someone like you is doing what you’re doing because of how much help and how much service you’re providing to people who are really like who far more often than they should fall through the cracks.
And I love that you’re there to keep them from doing that and help them to build maybe, something else and maybe help somebody else from falling through the cracks. So I’m just grateful that you’re out there doing what you’re doing. You’re you’re good stuff. I can tell.
[00:23:10] Sarah Khambatta: Thank you.
Thank you for saying all that for having me and sharing this conversation with whoever hears it. It’s great to have met you in person on zoom and to get to know you. Yeah. Love the conversation.
[00:23:21] Kevin Stafford: Truly. Maybe we’ll do this again sometime soon, and to the audience, you know what to do next. Links to everything in the show notes, including the proper spelling of Sarah’s name, so that you won’t have any trouble finding her on Instagram or LinkedIn, but just go to the website, just start there.
It’s the easiest thing for you to do. Do that, connect, reach out, send a message, take a free workshop, do whatever you’re going to do. Audience, you know this is worthwhile. I say this almost every time that I remember, but you know what to do. It’s the right thing to do. Just at the very least. Check it out.
And thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being here with us today. And we’ll get a chance to talk to you again real soon.
[00:23:54] Sarah Khambatta: Sounds good. Ciao.
