Kevin Stafford 0:02
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the conversations with coaches Podcast. I’m recording these Fast and Furious here in January 2023. And it has been a consistent delight. Speaking of consistent delights, I have another two time guests coming back today I have rich Stefan with me today. Let me reintroduce you before I asked him about the new exciting things coming up in 2023. For him, rich helps entrepreneurial minded business owners that are not experiencing the growth, income or time freedom they expected to discover and develop the fund they expected to discover sorry, and develop the fundamentals that will enable them to build the business they originally envisioned. I lost a comma there. And you can see the importance of commas when you try to read stuff out loud, is passion is to help business owners get back on track and in alignment with the energy and passion of their vision. Entrepreneurs wear many hats as you well know, to start up their businesses. As a business grows, the juggling of those roles can cause the owner to live to work instead of the business providing the better quality of life they desired in the first place. As a result, business owners really lose the passion, inspiration and momentum to grow towards their aspirations. This is where Rich’s experience and expertise are the most beneficial and most impactful. Rich, thank you for wading through my stumbling, bumbling rambling reintroduction of your bio. I had lost a couple of comments in there. But I appreciate that you’ve come back from other conversation. I really enjoyed our first one. And I’m excited to talk to you again.
Rich Steffen 1:33
Yeah, same here. Thank you very much for having me.
Kevin Stafford 1:35
So let’s let’s cut to the chase, let’s get to the real juicy stuff. You have a book coming out very, very soon a book that you’re co authoring with a number of other luminaries in the field. So I’m just gonna tee you up to talk about that. Tell me what this books about. Tell me about the experience of writing it. Tell me anything you want to tell me about it? I’d love to hear?
Rich Steffen 1:54
Yeah, it’s kind of an interesting way, the way it all started. And be quite honest. The person that called me on the phone to ask me if I was possibly interested in talking about co authoring a book. And I he finished his statement. And he says, and I said, I said, Where did you find me it to co author a book? And it goes, well, I got your podcast on. And it was the last podcast that we did. He saw that podcast out there. And he said, I really think that you would be a great co author in this book. And at that point, I was pretty much dumbfounded but very appreciative. And so anyway, we kind of continued the process. And he said, here’s a Well, here’s the situation, it says the people that are kind of, you know, forwarding this movement, and that will be the, you know, handling the foreword, and also co authors in the book. And he listed their name, it was Jim Britt and Jim Lutz and then Les Brown. Well, if you’ve been in the NLP, NLP world, neuro neuro linguistic programming, you know, Jim Lutz, for sure, Les Brown people know him pretty much inside now. And he said, I’d like to have a call and I go, Okay, I’m kind of tentative about this, but I figured it was gonna be, you know, not, because I can’t picture myself writing a book, let’s put it that way. In the book, you’re just writing a chapter in the book, you’re going to be amongst other people within this. And it’s all about the insights to personal development. And I said, Okay, that sounds great. So we get on the next call, and he says, the next call, just come with your convert your questions about what you you have, so we can get those answered. He answered my first question that I asked my second question, and he said, Can you hold on one second, I’m gonna Okay, here we go. And who answered the phone, Les Brown. And I’m going, you gotta be kidding me. And I’m sitting there on the phone talking to Les Brown, about this book. And then next thing I asked them, Jim Lutz gets on the phone, and he’s talking about it. And then they give me their cell phone numbers, and I’m going this is unreal. But anyway, that was a great experience. And it’s still actually is a very good experience, because the the book itself has not come out yet. It’s supposed to come out in about another about mid February. But we’ve already got the covers for the book. And each one of the co authors in the book is has their own cover with them right next to Les Brown on the cover. And it’s it’s this is a series of books. And we’re this is the 18th book in the series. And anyway, so it comes out but they’re now they’re teaching us you know, kind of how to put that out there to kind of get some interest levels go on and whatever else. So it’s been an education is they’ve been extremely available and extremely helpful. And, you know, got my chapter written and that was an exercise I’ll remember for a while, you know, so many tweets out wasn’t wars but gosh, it took me I don’t know, 40 hours, you know, it’s like because I wanted everything to be like, right. And anyway, got it done and, but things are rolling along right right away. And I actually have gotten a couple of speaking engagements as a result of people being aware of the fact that this book is coming out. And they’re using that to kind of, you know, help put it out there. So I have one in St. Louis, I have one, they’ll either be in Kansas City or Florida, where they’re not decided quite yet. And so anyway, but a great experience, and a great experience. And that’s,
Kevin Stafford 5:34
that’s so cool. I love how how everything snowballed in a positive way. A lot of a lot of snowballing is often something used to determine about something like when it rains, it pours, and negatively, but this is one of those things where it’s like a little spark seem to seem to have lit the fire. That’s, that’s fantastic. And it speaks to, I mean, it’s one of those simple truths that we know, you just keep putting yourself out there, just keep doing the work, be available, get on podcasts kind of just be somewhere where people can see you. And then if they if they like what you have to say if they if they’re if they’re really picking up what you’re putting down, they’re gonna reach out and you never know, you never know what’s going to lead to the next thing to the next thing to the next thing, like you said, it’s like, you’re almost in this constant state of amazement at each step where you’re like, I can’t believe I’m talking to this person, I can’t believe we’re all talking together, I can’t believe I’m reading a chapter in this book with these people, I can’t believe I’m speaking on the stage. And it just goes on and on and on. It’s, it’s, it’s really quite lovely and quite powerful. And sometimes I think we were talking a little bit before I hit record, sometimes you just kind of hold on and go along for the ride.
Rich Steffen 6:39
I mean, if there was ever a time, you know, this is one of those situations where when you talk to people about just for their own growth and their own, you know, mindset and just kind of having a perspective is that there’s some things in life, that happened that are great, that you couldn’t have planned, you couldn’t have done and you had no control over the way things got connected, you could start the process, but how it plays out, sometimes is not in your control. And this was a very good example of that. And the fact that you know, you just have to, as opposed to believing what you see, sometimes you have to learn to see what you believe. And, and I think that that’s really the case here is that, you know, I believe this things like this could happen. And it’s intended at some point, you know, whatever you want to call it, the ultimate intelligence, the quantum field, the, or whatever, make some things happen that you couldn’t do on your own. And that actually makes it even more enjoyable.
Kevin Stafford 7:43
It really does. And it’s like, and putting that belief into action and really centering it in your life is what allows you to be ready to say yes, when the when when things start to happen, because that’s what I think where a lot of people will, will trip up or fall short or miss the boat, so to speak, is they won’t really like they’ll have an idea or have a belief, but it’s very passive, it’s very inactive. And they don’t because they don’t really fully believe it, or they haven’t really fully embraced it. And when you when you believe something, and you construct that belief, and you begin to put it in action, and you really center it in the way that you’re pursuing your passions and going about building your business and constructing your life. It makes you more ready to say yes, when the big questions come around the big opportunities present themselves,
Rich Steffen 8:24
believing that you’d like when I when I have clients and in talking to them. And you know, I’ll bring topics up. And I’ll even kind of address their objections ahead of time. And just say, okay, so I know that the one I’m going to talk about now, you already heard about, you’ve probably read stuff about it and whatever else. And a good example of that would be mindset, no, no, they’ll kind of roll their eyes and I’m gone. So if in fact, mindset being what it is. And you’re not getting the results that you want, what do you think is the difference. And the bottom line is, is that knowledge does not mean wisdom. And the other thing is that you can know a lot about a lot of things but until you internalize that and own it, it’s not going to go anywhere and serve you the way that you want to be served. And so it’s a matter of you need to take it and say okay, you know, I own that and and I am going to internalize the concept of me being doing something or me acting or me performing or whatever, or having certain successes and experiences. And at that point, that’s when things start magic starts to happen.
Kevin Stafford 9:38
Yeah, and I don’t think I don’t think it’s, it’s wrong determine his magic, because it really does. It really does feel like that because it’s it almost, I was gonna say it’s kind of a I like the term magic here because it almost surpasses understanding and it tends to be very simple and you’re like you look back on it, you’re like, it’s like we’re talking a bit about this too. For a record those those Oh dumb moments are Oh, of course moments or the, you know, I should have known or could have known or whatever happens to be when you’re looking back in hindsight. But when you’re in the middle of it there, there’s a mystery to it as it’s happening, and it honestly, it can feel and be quite magical. And I don’t think we should be afraid to say it like that sometimes when when the feelings right when the magic is poppin.
Rich Steffen 10:19
Oddly enough, it’s like there’s almost like when you do experience it, when it possibly was something that something but somebody else or some imminently, say, your higher power has done for you, it’s almost more enjoyable than if you’d have done it for yourself. You’re part of something, yeah, Barsoum. And in fact that someone blessed you with this opportunity, as opposed to it all being your pump and grind stuff, you know, and there’s I’m like, Man, I like that.
Kevin Stafford 10:54
I do, I do, I don’t always like be in the center of my own story. It feels it feels a little inaccurate, sometimes a little disingenuous, sometimes. Also feel
Rich Steffen 11:03
somewhat like you got a safety net to you know, you got somebody out there on your own behalf. You know, there’s someone that can kind of help you pick up the pieces, and it’s kind of watching you from the 30,000 foot view while you’re down here below the clouds, you know, puffing up dust.
Kevin Stafford 11:20
So it sounds like we want to go for a run. Well talk to me a little bit. I know we we’ve already been talking for a little while. But I kind of want to know a little bit about this about this chapter in this book you wrote, I mean, obviously, you know, 3000 plus words is quite a quite an accomplishment, quite an endeavor on its own. And I don’t want you to give the whole thing away for free. But I’m curious if you could talk a little bit about about the the main crux of your chapter in this book and what you really focus on.
Rich Steffen 11:44
Yeah, the name of the chapter is the PERT your personal success structure. And, and really, it focuses on you being the best you can you can be before you start putting yourself out there for whether whether you’re asking for something, whether you’re expecting something, whether you have a certain ideas that that you’d like to see come to fruition, and whatever. But it’s like the one thing that people desire most is control. And when they lose control, that’s when people get frantic. Well, what happens is, is that when your success structure, your personal success structure is in place, then what happens now is you have the control to make good decisions. To make proactive decisions, you come from a point of a resourceful mindset versus being a resource, less mindset. And then when you do that, then all of a sudden, it’s like stuff comes to pass the biggest issue that the thing that one thing that we can control is us, there’s a lot out there that we think that we can control. But the reality is ultimately, that’s not the case. And so we can influence things for certain outcomes, but control them as a totally different story. But for for us, that’s a different deal. So the idea of us being really clear, on sort of what makes us unique, and the reality that no one can do us as well as we can do ourselves, and capitalize on that. And the best part is it doesn’t cost you a dime. And so that structure is you need the personal success structure before you can have a business success structure. You need it before you can have a relational success structure. You need all of this, no one’s going to love you more than you love yourself. And so it comes down to whether it be a partner or relationship or whether it be your your clients and your customers. No one’s going to trust you more than then the clarity and the trust that you have in yourself, or how much you love yourself is how much they’re going to love you. And so the whole piece is a matter of, you know, we are born with a certain number of gifts that are ours, and we’re put here for a purpose. And then and you can see I’m I’m I’m a faith based person. And that. And I don’t think there’s anybody out there that you ever asked that say, you know, so do you think you were put here for a reason or just put here out of chance? Well, everybody would love to think that they’re here for a reason. Well, if that’s the case, then wouldn’t it be nice to find out what it is. And so part of finding out what it is, is looking at what it is that drives you what is that motivates you? We talk about motivators, you know, and then what people don’t separate many times is the difference between or the distinguish between internal motivators and external motivators and We all want to have the external motivation of I want to go on vacation, I want the big car, I want the nice house, I want this than another. But the internal motivators are the things that come from just really being comfortable. And in our own skin. And when you have that, that you can get up, and you can just when people start talking junk in your ear, and you when you see stuff that, you know, pulls you away from, you know, really what you’re designed to do, you have the ability to say, No, thank you. And I’ve had enough of that. I know what direction I’m headed, and this is what feels good to me. And this is where I want to be. And if you can spend your life and time functioning 75 80% of your time, in the in the things that you do best and easily. And you can do it your eyes closed and better than anybody else. Like it’s pretty sweet. And really does. And when you can get at that point in your personal life, then transferring that into a business. It’s like I’ve been there done that before I can make this work, when it comes into relationship. I’ve been there done that before I can make this work. And it’s a power that people leave on the table so many times, when the reality is it’s there for you to grab now, and it’s free.
Kevin Stafford 16:17
And it’s ready. It’s not like it’s it, there’s gonna be work because there’s always work for worthwhile things. But it’s there, it’s available. Again, there’s there’s little there’s little to no barrier between you and that. And that power, it’s just a matter of realizing it. And then you know, taking those first couple steps towards it, I love I love this approach so much because so often, people go the opposite direction, where they start out, try they start out like reading books or trying to find out what’s made someone else successful. Someone else some other business and organization a person. And then they try to superimpose that onto their own life, they’re like, let me just follow this person’s recipe to coat to bake my cake. You know, my meal. Yeah. And then the it goes down. So many roads like that the imposter syndrome, especially as one of them. Starting with, I really appreciate this personal success structure. A lot of people think about a lot about what a success success structure will look like. They forget the personal part, though, and how, again, you explained that you describe it so beautifully how finding those things that you’re good at, you’re passionate about that come easier to you that again, they’re still gonna require work. And they did require development, but they’re, they’re yours. It’s your personal power, you start there, that is your firm foundation upon which you can build whatever you’d like to build, whatever your business relationships, whatever it happens to be, your yes gets stronger, your noi gets stronger, both of them in equal measure both of them at your disposal to use when you know that the time is right when the opportunity is right or wrong. Depending everything about what your move, what you’re doing, as you’re moving through your life becomes more firm becomes stronger becomes more certain in a way that doesn’t limit you in a way that actually expands what’s possible. I just I I think it’s something it’s a way to look at it a way to perceive this, that I feel like so many people get opposite of how they should, which is why it’s kind of why I’m getting excited about you talking about I’m like, Oh, this is great. I don’t hear this perspective very often in a way that I think is as powerful as this is so pretty excited about this chapter.
Rich Steffen 18:17
Things that I tell people early on, when I started working with him, I said, you know, most people are going to come to work with me to see what they can gain a positively gain obviously, in their lives or in their business or whatever. And so the reality is, the biggest gain you’re going to get probably is what you get to let go of let go of stuff, then you get to spend the time or more of your time and the things that you get to keep that you choose to keep and so and that’s where and I have there’s not one person I’ve worked with that after we finally they kind of have that aha moment that at some point in our conversation or relationship they go and to be honest I really had no idea that it would be like this and and they’ll say it in in their own version or way but the thing is is like they just go wow if I’d only known you know, I can’t believe that you know I knew things could be better I knew things could be different or whatever. But I didn’t know they would be like this is kind of like this is it’s like a big surprise to them but it’s this comforting calming and also in rejuvenating aha moment that they have that they’re going like holy smokes I had just had no idea
Kevin Stafford 19:48
you almost feel yourself when you’re saying it’s almost your will feel yourself standing up straighter. You just like had no idea you could do like obviously there are different ways to say it like I have no I had no idea and like you can feel the weight of it when it’s like something you didn’t know that was you know, going down a different path but when you’re when you realize how good it can be I honestly that’s the kind of terminology you almost feel cornered like holy smokes you fears like I use like I didn’t even know like as you’re saying you can feel like the weight lifting and your shoulders get nice and straight and that that first breath after you realize what’s possible is so cleansing and again etc said it perfectly invigorating, there’s so it’s it’s so enervating, you get so much energy from it, and so much calm and peace around it. And it’s like it, it sounds. I mean, depending on where you are, it might sound kind of impossible. But it’s, it’s there for you, it really, genuinely is there for you. And I love that I love that that’s where you’re, you’re focusing your energy and your effort, because I feel like that’s a message people need to hear.
Rich Steffen 20:50
And I think a lot of people know, not a lot. Everybody comes in with their own level of stress or anxiety, you know, when they’ll start out? Because they they’re like, Okay, you know, we’ll see what happens is proof is in the pudding, you know, and whatever else. And and then when they finally have their moment, and it is their moment, I don’t give that to them. I guide them through a process that allows them to become aware of what they’ve failed or chosen not to look at for the longest period of time, for whatever reason. But the bottom line is, and we all have been there at some point. And but when they finally figure out their aha moment that is truly theirs. I mean, it’s like, you can just see the air exit. i That’s cool.
Kevin Stafford 21:48
It’s It’s what it’s the moment that so many coaches live for it, then there’s really nothing quite like it to be a part of that for someone else. I just happened to my eyes darting up to the Zoom clock, we’ve already been talking for over half an hour, I just completely got lost with that, which is once again, a delightful surprise. Before I let you go, I do want to I should let you go. But before I do, I want to make sure that people who are listening know where to find out like when I mean when the book is going to be available, when I know you have some speaking engagements coming up that are around this wet like roughly when those will be and more importantly, where people can go to find out when you have firm dates and firm locations for all this stuff that’s happening. So yeah, let us know where to where people can find out more.
Rich Steffen 22:30
Yeah, probably the best place is gonna be my LinkedIn page. And that as far as it’ll be posted on there, I know that I kind of keep everybody up to speed on that spot. And then I have conversations on a regular basis and about an you know, the chapters were all completed. And we now have the fact that we have the covers to be able to do is that this was as of about two days ago. So now there’s updates to be made and things that availability and stuff like that. And the other one is to is that you know, for people that have an interest in and not only the things we talked about today, but a lot of other people that are in the same general field of conversation. That sounds something of interest to you. Be glad you can leave me your email address and say I want one or I’d like to have a copy of the book. I’d be glad to send you a free copy.
Kevin Stafford 23:26
Lovely. All right, well, we’ll make we’ll make LinkedIn the one stop shop for all the latest information and news and updates. And if anybody wants to reach out and connect, they can just connect with you there DM you leave their email address and ask for
Rich Steffen 23:39
phone number they have a calendar on there, whatever this thing is also whatever they can want to do, they can they can do that. But I’m interested in their thoughts or opinions and, you know, whatever they have to say, but I would love to just for the opportunity of having them maybe listen to us jabber for a half an hour that you know, be glad to give them a gift that I would personally like to see. But then again, I’m a human behavior nut so but someone else would like it. I’d love to give them a copy.
Kevin Stafford 24:08
Oh, that sounds great. I liked it. I liked the phrase human behavior net. I can connect with that phrase quite a bit.
Rich Steffen 24:16
For a long time.
Kevin Stafford 24:18
Or rich, this has been delightful once again, unsurprisingly. So I think maybe I’ll have to have you come back on more closer to the summer and like get your perspective from after the release. And all this stuff has been happening. And also because Jeff, personally, you know, selfishly I enjoy your I enjoy your conversation. And I enjoy your company. So thank you for coming back on the button and sharing all this. It’s pretty exciting stuff.
Rich Steffen 24:38
Yeah, it is. I’ll say that for myself as well. It’s a it’s a bless you know, one thing anyway, but yeah, so thank you. I appreciate that.
Kevin Stafford 24:48
truly my pleasure and to the audience. I mean, you’ve been listening, you know what to do, but just in case I’ll remind you once again head to his LinkedIn. It’s really easy to find. I think it’s well I’ll have the link to it in the show notes for sure, but I’m pretty sure if you just search rich Stephen On LinkedIn, you’ll find it first first selection find out all you need to know about the upcoming book in the chapter he has in it everything he has to say everything has to share, teach guide offer, and quite frankly bless you with so definitely go there and definitely come back here again in Well, whenever the next episode airs, which might be tomorrow it might be in a couple of days. At this point. We’ve got so many we might just go to five days a week. I don’t know I don’t I don’t want to tease anything. That’s not gonna happen yet. But nevertheless, we will talk to you again here very soon. All right.
