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Lessons – What’s Possible, What’s Required | Conversations with Coaches | Boxer Media

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Conversations with Coaches | Boxer Media

In this recurring series, Kevin explores some of the brightest ideas and insightful lessons that his guests have shared with him on the podcast, and why they’ve continued to inspire him ever since.

This is actually inspired by a movie called Boiler Room. In it, there’s a speech delivered by – of all people – Ben Affleck that manages to be both a little hilarious and surprisingly insightful (this is with the benefits of hindsight, of course).

He begins by telling his audience of “recruits” all they can expect to gain and all he’s accomplished and acquired himself in the process of doing the job they’re all about to begin. Then, he pivots with this line:

“Now you know what’s possible, let me tell you what’s required.”

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Hello again everyone and welcome to another episode solo sewed solo minisode of the conversations coach’s podcast lessons edition. I’m your host, Kevin, of course. And I have kind of a fun slash funny one to share with you. This one isn’t so much a direct lesson from the conversations I’ve had with coaches. It’s, it’s actually a movie reference. That also gets referenced in one of my favorite podcasts, which is neither here nor there. But it does actually, in a weird way. It came to me it read it came to me and resonated with everything that I’ve been learning and been exposed to, in my conversation with coaches, and working for him with coaches for the last few years now. And just thinking about how we go about doing the things that we do. Now I’ll set it up a little bit, it’s this movie, called boiler room came out. Honestly, it’s it could be early 2000s, maybe late 90s. I honestly forget, it feels like maybe early 2000s, I can’t remember a while ago, I was I was a much less gray individual at this time. It’s a it’s a pretty decent movie about sort of like stock trading. Anyway, I’ll let you discover it on your own. If you’re not already familiar with it, not necessarily recommending it. It’s something that I’ve enjoyed a movie that I remember fondly. And in the probably middle like sort of the like towards the end of the first third, like towards the end of Act One as things are kind of ramping up. In the movie, Ben Affleck shows up as a character who’s an actor you may or may not be familiar with, or at least know that name, pretty famous actor. Ben Affleck shows up and he ends up having a small role throughout the rest of the movie. But he shows up at this meeting of a bunch of people who just got hired at this like broker brokerage stock trading firm, and they’re all fresh face new recruits, you know, clearly been promised, you know, looking their money hungry. They’re like kind of like the stereotypical image you might have.

And he comes in, he’s basically there to like, make this speech, or this presentation. And he shows me just wearing a nice suit or whatever, it doesn’t turn up doesn’t tie up PowerPoint or anything, it’s kind of walks in. And the first half of his speech is just about all the things they can expect to do make benefit from by working hard at this job. By cut by tattiness job, the money, they can make the stuff they can buy the prestige. And he’s usually he’s pretty much doing it through the lens of all he has, and he’s bragging on himself. He’s throwing his fancy car keys on the on the meeting table on the on the on the boardroom table, just like look at my I forget what it’s like some of the Mercedes some fancy car throws his keys to talking about a huge house all of his toys and whatnot. He’s bragging on himself to set it up, you cut to find a handsome figure real nice suit, he definitely looks the part of the kind of successful person that all these young men want to be in the context of the movie. So and right in the middle of his speech, he pivots. And he says, Okay, how’s it quoted, I forget, now, you know, what’s possible. Let me tell you what’s required. And pivots the whole the whole presentation on that. Now you know, what’s possible, let me tell you what’s required. And then he goes about the kind of hours are gonna be expected to work, how hard they’re gonna have to work out, I’m not gonna make a whole lot of money at first, you’re gonna have to pardon my French eat a lot of shit. Which, again, this is in the context of the movie and in the context of stock trading. So, you know, understand that however you wish to, but basically, you’re just going to have to have to grind it for a while, you’re gonna get there, but you’re gonna, you’re gonna have to do what’s required. And I always I really love that little pivot sentence in the middle of that speech.

Now, you know, what’s possible, let me tell you what’s required. I feel like that’s a pretty good structure. For what pretty? Well, you explain the structure of what coaching is about, a lot of a lot of the coaches I speak to there’s a, there’s always a good evaluation period, where they’re discovering whether or not a client is going to be a good fit for them. And well, actually, every coach I’ve spoken to, there’s a lot of integrity and coaching, I don’t want to brag on everybody here who might be listening, but I really enjoy how coaches look for fit. And if it’s not there, they’re not just going to take a contract or take a job, if they don’t think they can help if they don’t think they can serve. In fact, they’re going to know somebody or multiple somebody’s who would be a better fit, and they’re gonna recommend that person or that coaching firm. Love that. But that’s, that’s a that’s a separate thing that I’ll certainly brag on later. I brag on often, but the way a coach will come in and identify and also communicate what’s possible, what are we going after here, this is what we just let’s figure out what your intentions are what you want out of this relationship, whether it’s a you know, C suite executive who’s trying to, you know, be better in the boardroom, or mid level team player who’s looking to rise the corporate ladder or whatever it happens to be. There’s so many different coaches that are listening to this podcast, probably right now. coaching from different perspectives from different departments, corporate, entrepreneurial, etc. So again, identify all that you figure out what’s possible, what’s present in what’s possible. And then there’s definitely a pivot and this is something that I know a lot of coaches they’ll have this they’ll have this right up on Front Street.

Where their requirement is that you, you have to do buy in, I’m going to tell you what you need to do, if you don’t do the work, you’re not going to get the results we just talked about, if you don’t, and this is the coach speaking to their client, if you aren’t prepared to do the work, come ready, come open, be vulnerable, then you’re not going to get the results that we talked about you getting, you’re not going to be able to get there. And I love how simply this random quote from a movie that I remember that also pops up in a favorite podcast of mine, every now and again, really speaks directly to that and how how good of a process it is. Let people know what’s possible for them. Like you can, you can have these things, I’m not just blowing smoke, we’re not just blowing smoke up people’s butts, you can be this person that you want to be you can have these things that you want to have. This is how I’ll even tell you how it’s going to happen. And not just in some like you know, read a book about it and figure out how it applies to your life. I’m going to tell you how you can do it. Not not some general you know, universal you, you Kevin, you, John, you Michael, you you Lily, you Darcy you whoever will tell you how you can do it. Now you know it’s possible. Let’s talk about what’s required. It’s, I love it. And I love the fact that that stays paired. And the moment those things drift apart, you lose you lose track, you lose touch with what’s required.

Maybe you’re not bringing bringing the work you need the vulnerability you need the openness, the empathy and if you’re not bringing in what’s required the results are going to drift too. And so I just I loved that it tickled me to no end that this random quote removed me that I hadn’t thought about in years but has still kind of like been on the way way way backburner presence in my life for a while kind of came up to me recently, just this week, and it just occurred to me how good of a good of a way to explain what good coaching can look like. Now you know, it’s possible. Let me tell you what’s required. Anyway. I’m done sharing. I’m been waxing on this quote. If you want you want if you want to talk more about boiler room, I’m available. I haven’t watched it in years, but it’s a movie that I definitely loved in my 20s I never really wanted to be that kind of that kind of person. But I don’t know I enjoyed the movie. That’s Ben Affleck and Giovanni Ribisi. A few other people Vin Diesel’s in it anyway. It’s not a movie review podcast. So I’m going to leave it there. And I will talk to you again very soon. Bye.

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