Kevin Stafford 0:00
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the conversations with coaches podcast. I’m your host, Kevin, and I got to tell you, I’m already just beside myself with delight to get to introduce you to and to get to know more about Ken Jensen he is we’ve been chatting before I hit record. And I gotta tell you, it’s just it’s a temptation to just keep him on the zoom all day, it’s temptation, just hit record, never stop recording, it’s a temptation to just stop recording, and then just start a different conversation. I cannot wait to share a little bit of him with you and just get a little bit more of him myself. Let me give you let me introduce you give me the tiniest tiniest taste of who can Jensen is, he is an author, life coach, marine Gulf War vet, former addict and alcoholic and former bipolar sufferer. He’s even been dead a few times and survived to comas, which I both would love to get into. And also we’re here for different purposes. So that’s just there for you to understand about some of some of what makes up Ken’s life. In 2004, he turned all that around, including addressing his bipolar disorder without meds. And now he helps other trauma survivors create small businesses to share their stories. There is so much more to can than even that can contain and that was a heck of a paragraph Ken, thank you for being here today. Thanks for sharing some time and some stories with me and with my audience. And I’m just excited to get to know you.
Ken Jensen 1:15
Thank you very much, Kevin. I feel warmly welcomed. And I already wish we were neighbors. Okay, well, yeah, I hope we stay in touch and do something again later. And just thank you very much for for having me.
Kevin Stafford 1:27
I know we’d we’re just getting started with the like actual recorded episode, I can already tell that I’m going to like be coming back as soon as I can responsibly come back to you and be like, let’s do a part two and make it longer, I can already tell I’m gonna want that. So there’s no doubt we’ll be talking again. So let’s go well, it’s even more so than usual. This question is kind of loaded, because I usually say something to the effect of let’s go back to the beginning. We don’t have that kind of time. Anybody has that kind of time. But let’s go back to maybe at the beginning, but like the origin story of your of yourself of your life as a coach in particular, how did you come to the realization or the decision to apply your gifts, your life story, your impact all your skills, to something like coaching to helping other people to, to get through something to develop something to grow into the person they want to be and have the kind of impact that they want to have in their life? How did you how did you come to that decision and realization.
Ken Jensen 2:23
It didn’t come fast. This, this has been decades long. I’ve had over 50 jobs with a W two I pretty much learned years ago, if I can dance my way through the interview to jobs moot, I’ll figure that out in a minute, I’ll make the right friends, I’ll learn what I got to and I’ll have it, then I’ll get bored and quit. That became clear to me. And in an attempt to find out what my career path was many years ago, you’ll look for that common thread, the only common thread I could see was that people seemed drawn to me. I always had the best stories, whether I wanted to be that guy or not. People felt free to dump their problems in my lap. And usually they were quite severe problems. Even when I was a complete mess. They still come to me with their problems. I was trying to find a job that would let me use that side of my personality. I never did, I never did find a job that did that. And in the middle, my brain just melted down with bipolar. And that’s I literally wrote a book on that it was it was just incredible what I went through and now I came out of it. But at some point, I hired a coach, and who had been following for years. And I told him I said, I don’t know what I am. I just know people want me around and they feel better when they’re talking to me, but there’s never really a focus, but I care that that I handle it right. Like what the hell is that? And he was like, I don’t quite know just yet. But he’s like, What do you feel your greatest impact is I said, when I’m talking to people, he said podcast start podcasting. That was three podcasts ago, I’ve had more coaching from him and other coaches. And And finally, oddly enough, as I was being coached, I still didn’t know that I never heard of I didn’t know what a life coach was. And I finally went and got certified for it. I don’t remember this. Nothing out of the six month course, except this one lesson. It was where I learned the difference between therapy and coaching. I’d never heard until this course. I was being treated by a therapist, which I cared to do well, but I wasn’t certified in and it drained me. And and once they showed me the difference, I could see how I coached other people to great heights and that energize me to no end. And I wanted to be with them more no matter what they were doing. And then then everything came together. Even as I was getting certified as a life coach. The title struck me as too corny, but then I embraced it once I realized what the difference was. And then started going through iterations to like that till now. Now I help other trauma survivors tell them you build a online business to tell their story so that they get the greatest reach, have the life they want for doing it. It’s what I’m delivering and love that and like
Kevin Stafford 4:57
you’re right like It’s like Sir In terms does carry some weird baggage with it like the term life coach doesn’t exactly have the best baggage that comes with it. But it really does, like it’s a good place to start. And I love that you didn’t let that like that refresh, like, push you away from starting there and be like, Look, I am understanding what this is now, no care what it’s called, or how people have used the term in the past, present or future, I’m going to use this term. And I’m going to allow the use this sort of framework to kind of get into how I want to help people how I want to share this, share my share my stories with people share my impact with people, and really help them get through. And I just love that you just like, I mean, I’m completely surprised that you didn’t let something like that get in your way. i You strike me as the kind of man who does not like very much get in the way of the things that he realizes are important in life.
Ken Jensen 5:42
No, no things external to me just got easier and easier and easier to overcome. And then it got clear to me, the longer I tried to do this job better, I’m always going to be the biggest thing in my way. So then the job became, if something went sideways or gotten a little wiggly didn’t land like I thought it would would, I would quickly pick that apart and see how to improve or, or if I even agreed with what I just did, because we do a lot of things on autopilot. Frequently for the best of intentions, and because it always worked up till now. And then things don’t work because something’s changed. And and so now, now I take pride in catching myself faster. You’re not always even wrong. You could put you could be better. And you change or something changes to where you have to be better. If you want to stick with this as a career and do no harm.
Kevin Stafford 6:37
Yeah, right wrong is really easy to get caught up on because it’s it’s it’s, it’s it seems definitive. Not No, I’m not interested in that anymore. And I’m actually actively disinterested in that what I’m interested in is did it work? Like I wanted it to? Did it work? Well, what were the results? And how could they be better? And just like it’s whether or not it seems on By every metric you could see wildly successful, or By every metric, you can see and measure it just it catastrophically failed or anywhere in between. I want that to be my next set of questions. Why did this work? Why didn’t this work? How did this work? What was my role in it? What could my role in it be all sorts of like interesting questions that lead to the next questions that let me get better and work more effectively and grow not just for myself, but with the people I’m working with. It’s just it’s really it’s just, it’s what gets me out of bed in the morning, I used to be looking for answers. And now I just want more questions. I want more work with people. I want to keep growing and going, you know?
Ken Jensen 7:32
Yeah, totally.
Kevin Stafford 7:34
Yeah. And the question there, it’s kind of cut it off.
Ken Jensen 7:37
And the better we get at that I find, we start getting our wish, whether spoken out loud or not. We start drawing people to us that we want to have around us. Even if we haven’t gotten to where we want to get yet you start. You can see him common you can smell it in the air, you know, different people show up and the conversations change a little and you realize like, I’m doing something right here to get what I need out of this. And you just get a sense that you’re handling yourself? Well.
Kevin Stafford 8:07
Yeah, if you really are putting yourself out there like that, and like you are right you do you really do start to attract not just the people, but the opportunities that kind of come along with that. And it’s like it’s it’s it can be hard to, for lack of a better word quantify, but you can feel it, you really can’t feel it. And that feeling comes from all the work you’ve been doing and are continuing to do. It doesn’t come from nowhere, you’ve been developing the skills and processing, you know, your internal and external work. And it’s like that feeling does come from somewhere. But it’s the feeling that guide you that you can learn to trust. And then it’s just, it’s just there’s no better Northstar for knowing that you’re on the right path.
Ken Jensen 8:41
Yeah, I agree.
Kevin Stafford 8:43
I want to talk a little bit, because I’m looking at the Zoom clock making sure I keep I keep this conversation on rails because there’s just like I there’s like a dozen different jumping off points I would love to talk about for another hour or two. But I want to talk a little bit about your your coaching business in particular. And I usually ask this kind of as a two parter to try to get at the heart of what the coaching business really is for you. Who do you coach and how do you coach them? Is what I usually ask them, you’ve kind of already talked about this a little bit, but the who is really what I say kinds of people do you focus on like, are there certain age groups or demographics, certain kinds of entrepreneurs or business owners? Anything, anything that you particularly focus on there? And then the how being more about the sort of coaching techniques you deploy like a one to one small group or medium sized group like mastermind kind of groups? Do you do any sort of coursework that you construct and run keynote speeches or anything like that? Do you? I mean, obviously, you’ve written a book, do you? I mean, do you continue to write for for different publications or for yourself all of the above? I mean, obviously, there’s so many different ways to reach people, but how do you Who do you coach and how do you coach them these days?
Ken Jensen 9:49
Well, this this iteration is in its early growth stages. So I have I have there’s two different main offerings I have one is for anybody to has just one thing we need to solve. And we just focus on that one thing, no one’s, it’s month a month. But it’s long term, it’s people with a vision. And it can either be people that are brand new, that realize they want to, they want to be heard, they want to be taken serious, they want credibility, they want to make big change in the world. And they want to get paid well to do it. They don’t want to be martyrs. And you can’t, I stress to people, if you really want to do the greatest amount of work with your story, you’ve got to get paid to do it for a number of reasons. And you will help more people way more people than doing this from a soapbox on the intersection. And I also help current business owners because this is again, this is the interesting thing I found out about myself over the years. One time I got pulled into a room of millionaires did the story of how I was even in that room, or near it is too long to tell. But a business owner told me he’s like you need to be at that table. And this is before I knew anything about myself like why he goes you just need to sit and learn and watch what’s happening in here. Nothing ever went further with him and I or that room. But I felt like he knew something down the road. He was a teacher, he knew I needed to see something that I think he even knew I was going to use anytime soon. I don’t need to know it anywheres near anything much about the people I help. They just need someone to talk to them straight, who cares. And helps them sort through their issues. And hear what it is that’s really bothering because they’ll they’ll frequently think it’s the surface thing. It’s usually something much deeper. If I can help them on earth it look at themselves a little differently, I’m big on changing perspectives and reframing. They suddenly get it in them to do the stuff that I don’t even have a clue or half understand because I don’t need to, they just I just keep on moving to what they do. And then I want to be in some fashion brought along not not on, I just want to be involved. I want that to be my network of people. I’ve had it before. But this is the most professional attack on creating that that I’ve ever done. Right now I coach people one on one and I use a mix, I still have a day job and I work with the mentally ill and the addicted. And it is draining, it is draining even on good days, because to remain present. You probably notice just from doing a podcast to remain present. And give him keep your heart out there. But protect yourself. You’re drained. So to my lack of time and my lack of energy. Thank God the internet invented asynchronous coaching software. I discovered that not long ago. So I can do like texting coaching with people through the week, then do live one on ones with them on the weekend because you have to do that as well. And that’s that’s, that’s really the gist of it. Then I offer. I got three courses on my site right now. Each of them ones really are a massive Resource Guide. The other two are what happened. It’s a wellness guide. It’s how I beat bipolar. But it can be used for anything to help people improve their health to to improve their entire lives. And the other thing is the more ethereal, the abstract. Okay, you’re all right, and what you want to do something, how might you how do you got to look at things to do something. And that’s, that’s like my whole business right now.
Kevin Stafford 13:12
I want to sink my teeth into so much of that there’s a couple of things that you said that I wanted to I wanted to shine some extra light on, there’s one in particular, and this one is a really hard one for a lot of especially like coaches or just people who who are looking to give back and like serve others. It’s something really hard for people to internalize and really put into their business. Your it’s important that you be focused on making money, it’s important that you understand that getting like, you know, building a business and making an income and being satisfied. It’s, it’s almost not even so much about you. It’s important that you get I mean, I’m gonna use this term and it sounds like I’m making a pun, but I’m not I mean it, it’s important that you get buy in from the people you’re trying to help the people that you’re serving. And if you’re just out there up on your soapbox and just kind of throwing your message out there. It could be it could literally be falling on deaf ears, even if it’s people who really need to hear what you’re what you’re saying what you’re putting out there. And what the what the investment these people make in you indicates is that not only are they willing to listen, they’re ready to invest in listening, they’re ready to invest in the kind of change they want to see in their life. And you really you can’t you really can’t coach, anybody that’s not ready. You can’t force someone into that position. They kind of have to be up to a certain level of readiness. You must be this high to ride. I’m remembering from all those old carnivals I used to go to as a kid, there’s a certain degree of readiness you just have to have if you’re going to be able to work with each other and if you’re going to help help someone and it’s it’s really hard for a lot of coaches, a lot of business owners to internalize. And it’s just it’s for a lot of other reasons that we again, we don’t even have nearly enough time to get into. It’s so important. I’m so glad you call that out. It’s just it’s so vital. And so many coaches and business owners trip on that. And also I love the way that you largely acknowledged that you’re not really doing A whole lot and doing, but you’re not, you’re doing so much by not really doing very much at all. Because you understand like, like, every good coach I’ve talked to does, that most of the hard work, the heavy work, the big change is going to come from inside the person that you’re coaching, you just need to get there with them, shoot him straight, you know, hold that space with them, give them the space to remove, let some obstacles kind of move into the center. And then like, you know, help someone to kind of get those obstacles out of the way. And it’s just, it’s really about guidance, you know, you’re not really like, throwing your 27 step system to health, wealth and happiness and just trying to stuff into somebody’s life, it’s gonna be there and just talk with them. And I know, it’s, it’s very reductive, to say it that way. But it’s also it’s the heart of it, you’re just really there, connecting with people building the relationship, holding the space for him, letting them talk, listening to them, giving it back to him straight, and just just going from there. And it’s just, it’s so it’s so simple, and so powerful. And I just I love, I love the way that you frame it and the way that you execute it in your in your life and your business.
Ken Jensen 16:02
I appreciate it. Yeah, my job. I tend to do the job with my co workers, my co workers, we’re all peers, we’re literally called peers. And everybody has to have most of the people at work, or you have to have been through something before you can get hired. Otherwise, how can you understand the clients and I, I routinely have co workers coming to me with everything. And it’s, it’s, it’s an honor, and I of course, I liked him and I care about some of them greatly. And I take it very seriously that they’re trusting me. And it’s, like I said, a lot of what I get hit with his therapy, which is hard for me. And yet coaching and therapy are almost the same thing. There’s like a light, it’s like a one like two thirds, three quarters, they’re the same thing. And then that last chunk is where they differentiate. And and a lot of it’s really just listening and I love talking it’s I always have to fight to not over over speak. And I’m getting better at it. And I don’t know how to say this without sounding egotistical. I’m gonna keep it vague. I get paid very, very nice comments on a large scale, particularly where I work out to the point that it’s noticeable to me like, how am I blowing up this big, I don’t even know a lot of these people because there’s too many of them in the building. I can’t remember who they are, if they’ve even seen them. And certain people, I keep getting commented on how on a complimented on how well I listen. And it makes me laugh because like I had told you before we started the little micro bubbles of awareness. It you just said it’s that damn simple. It’s not easy. And we’ve got to rein ourselves in. And as coaches we got so much help and advice we got you know, you’re gonna just like you said, you’re gonna cram it down your throat or you’re gonna vomit or run away from you. And get just sit and listen. And I realized and it’s a relief, I realized most of this is just listening. And then waiting for them and giving them little tiny conversational nudges and pointing a couple things out. And waiting for that moment, when you realize you can take them by the hand and run up, run up to the next plateau up the mountain. You just got to be patient. And it requires all this listening and I now now I’m kind of getting off on the hunt, of waiting for the let’s run for the plateau moment. And it only comes by shutting down everything about me that’s big and loud and bold, and being quiet and listening, which is really hard. But I do it. And now so now it’s like I’m digging the mastery of can I contain myself long enough for this person to reach? Are we doing this? Are we running, let’s run, you know, grab, let’s go, you’re a freak, let’s go we run. You gotta you gotta cultivate that into being, we have to hold so much ourselves back until they’re ready for that side of us to show up. But then But then when it comes, then you’ve got to lead. And you got to be loud and strong about it because now they’ve pinned all their hopes on you to some degree to take care of them. Now you have to follow through on what you promised that you were so patiently waiting for it to arrive. Now it’s on you. You get to the next plateau and you begin again, you let them soak and it just cycles.
Kevin Stafford 19:12
It’s it’s a beautiful cycle. It’s a beautiful circle. And it’s like it’s really, it’s that restraint leading up to that moment of exuberance. And I just I love it in my head it’s like it is that it’s the perfect you put the image right into my head of just running up you know hand in hand to that next plateau and all the work that went into getting ready for that. It’s just in my head I’m like I’m seeing the sun on the horizon and I’m feeling the wind as we’re going up the hill like it really is like the perfect way to describe it. That’s what it feels like it is just an exuberant celebration even as it is just like a giant leap forward and it’s like it takes it takes that patience. It takes that that restraint that quiet work, and then you just kind of keep you start you get you start getting excited because you know you’re hunting you’ve got your hunters eye on and you can see that it’s close. It’s really close. You could feel it used You’re almost like, inside, you’re trying, obviously, you’re trying not to do it outside, but you’re almost like bouncing on the balls of your feet. Oh, there’s just nothing like it. It really isn’t. I love it, man, I could talk to you all day. This is just to go outside and go for a run or a walk or something now, but before I let you go, and I’m going to very, very, very reluctantly let you go for now. And then very, very, very soon. I’m going to have you back on for another like a longer, where where can people just learn more about you who you are, what you do, how you do? Just learn more about you. And also if it’s different, where can people best connect with you if they wanted to reach out and start a relationship, maybe see about, you know, joining on your coaching programs, anything like that?
Ken Jensen 20:41
Well, my website, bipolar excellence.com. It’s got the podcast, it’s got the newsletter I give away to wellness program right now the whole program. I don’t know if that’ll remain that way or not. I might just give something away simpler just to get the ball rolling somewhere down the road. But right now you get the entire program. And then once you’re on the newsletter, you’ll always be able to find me but you have the podcast and whatever else I might create is all on bipolar excellence.com. And I’m getting ready to do a massive. I’m about to take over LinkedIn. With Justin Welch’s help. I bought both these programs, and they resonated with me something serious, I’m on my third go through. It takes me a while to get my head around some things. And now I got it now. Now. Now. Now I’m getting ready to run myself up that hill. So I’m gonna get very loud on LinkedIn.
Kevin Stafford 21:32
That’s excellent. That’s excellent. And then then you are in good hands with with Justin. Well, that’s that is it is that I mean, it’s not quite the gold standard, it’s in my opinion, it’s pretty much a gold standard for if you really, if you really want to, if you want to jumpstart your your LinkedIn presence. And it’s the place to be, it’s like it’s the least it’s at least a noisy of all the social media platforms. And so the signal is clear. And I’m able to like I’m genuinely able to make real connections and build relationships there, which is not something I’ve been able to say about other social media platforms for a long time. So
Ken Jensen 22:03
no, I don’t want to be on the other ones. I’ll be on Twitter as well. But I won’t be focused on business. But on LinkedIn, I only got serious with LinkedIn earlier this spring, because I’m like, that’s what the adults play. I gotta come, I gotta come ready. And I just didn’t feel ready until this spring. And again, it’s like we were saying earlier before we began recording, it’s like there’s there’s certain things in life that I am not afraid of, and I’ve overcome, that would terrify people that are nothing to me, and yet, quivering in my boots a little to go put my profile live on LinkedIn, it’s ridiculous. But I want it to be ready. And like you said, I like LinkedIn, because it’s adult and everybody the underpinning, we’re here to do business in one way, shape, or form. That’s why we chose LinkedIn, you can still have fun, you still have fantastic warm conversations. And you make really cool friends, which I want. I want that I want that awesome network of Chief achievers. And I can’t I know that I learned that LinkedIn is relatively untouched and that they are desperate for content. So right now people if you’re listening and you’re serious about getting found and heard and grow, you can own LinkedIn it’s the Wild West and they are glad to have you that is not going to remain the same for law. No I’m not even a rep.
Kevin Stafford 23:22
Like it’s not a paid promotion is just not do LinkedIn lovers just really just just espousing the platform.
Ken Jensen 23:28
gonna bash cabin, this is district ticketless, I wish we were I wish we were porch friends.
Kevin Stafford 23:33
I cannot tell you I would. At that point, I put a light in my heart that I can’t even describe. So I’m just thinking right now because it’d be so great to be on the porch with a with a cold one just watching watching the world go by. But for now, I’m gonna very, very reluctantly, heave a sigh and say goodbye. Thank you. I just thank you, thank you for being here and talking with me and sharing some time and thank you for being who you are and doing what you do and just growing and evolving and just get this thank you for being you. I know it’s quite it’s corny. It’s almost as corny as life coach but I embrace it. Thank you for being you and for sharing just a tiny bit of your of your day in your life with me today. I just I’m immensely grateful.
Ken Jensen 24:10
I feel the same about you. Which sounds trite and but it’s not it’s you’re the kind of people i i did draw you to me. That’s my point. I want friends like you. So thank you, Kevin for the same reasons.
Kevin Stafford 24:24
That’s excellent. And hey, to the to the audience listening out there. i If you’ve if you feel like the tiniest sliver as as delighted and joyful and inspired as I do, then go out and work with it. Reach out to Ken connect on LinkedIn and just start a conversation. You won’t be sorry. And thank you for sharing some time with us here today. And we’ll be so grateful to share a little bit more time with Ken and with other coaches very very, very soon. So thank you.
