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Kiley Peters – On Clarity, Space, and The Roadmap | Conversations with Coaches | Boxer Media

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Kiley Peters | Conversations with Coaches | Boxer Media

Kiley Peters is a serial entrepreneur, national speaker, small business strategist, executive coach, operations consultant, brand marketer, and podcast host.

She is the founder of Brainchild Studios, an international award-winning digital content strategy agency, and RAYNE IX, an executive consultancy for women small business owners.

In our conversation today, Kiley talks about her journey through becoming a coach and consultant, and particularly how she’s found a sort of fusion between the two in her business.

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Kevin Stafford 0:02
Hello everyone and welcome to another fine episode I’m certain it will be a fine episode of the conversations with coaches podcast. I’m your host Kevin, and today I get to meet someone new. I love being able to meet someone for the first time as I’m about to interview them for the podcast. It’s always exciting and consistently delivers and so far, we’ve only been talking for a few minutes, but Kylie Peters is going to be no exception to the rule. Let me introduce you to Kylie. I’m gonna take a deep breath. Kylie is a serial entrepreneur, national speaker, small business strategist, executive coach, operations consultant, brand marketer, and podcast host debrief, and probably much more. She’s the founder of brainchild studios, an international award winning digital content strategy, agency and rain is it rain IX or rain? The ninth rain nine rain night there we go. Right nine executive consultancy for women, small business owners. Haley is a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for coming on the podcast. I’m excited to talk about probably just like the tip of the iceberg of everything you do.

Kiley Peters 1:05
Yeah. Well, thank you so much for having me. It’s a pleasure.

Kevin Stafford 1:09
So let’s I like to I like to begin at the beginning and talk about what and I cheekily referred to it as your superhero origin story. How did you find your powers as a coach and like, let someone tell you like a trusted mentor or friend or parent, whoever, that who you are what you do? A really great expression of it would be coaching. Did you kind of discover this for yourself as you moved through the professional world? How did you become a coach?

Kiley Peters 1:36
I, ironically enough, I became a coach purely out of curiosity. So yeah, it was never my intention. I had no plan of becoming a coach. In what oh, I think it was the summer of 2020. Lots of good things happening then. Yeah. I was running my agency brainchild studios, and I was trying to figure out how to be a better leader for my team. And so I was like, people keep telling me about coaches, I should find one. I think that’s what I need now. And so I found this amazing woman who’s still my coach. And as I started working with her about six months, I think it was about six months in, I was like, can you tell me more about how you became a coach, because I’m just so fascinated by what you’ve been able to help me do. And I just purely want to learn more about it, because I think it’s valuable. And so we she, she went through, and therefore I went through the coactive training program. And so in 2021, the beginning of 2021, I started the fundamentals program, and then I did the full program. And then in 2022, I did those certification. But it really purely started out as curiosity. And then as I got into it, I was like, you know, I think with As with most coaches, when they get started, like, oh my god, this is so hard. I have to relearn giving people advice, like, I’m not supposed to be doing that. So often, especially as business owners, people ask us questions, to get advice. And it’s like, just rewiring your brain. And so that was definitely a new muscle for me. And so, as I went through my training and certification, and started building my own clients, what I realized about myself was that I loved coaching. But I really loved consulting. Like I had, like, I had like a come to Jesus moment. I was like, okay, okay, okay, I know, I spent the last two years like becoming a coach, but like, I still really love consulting. So what I did was I got really clear on who I wanted to serve and the problems I wanted to solve. And I created a curriculum that combines coaching and consulting. So I get to have my cake and eat it too. And hopefully still successfully. So I’ll set problems for my audience.

Kevin Stafford 4:04
I really getting clarity on who, who you want to serve. I love that the very elegant way to state what it’s very frequently at the heart of everyone who just who seeks to become a coach or become a consultant is there’s that when you when you when you figure it out, what you’re really figuring out for yourself is, who do I want to serve? And how do I want to serve them? Exactly. And it’s just like with that clarity, I feel like it’s just like, it’s almost like a sunburst moment where you’re like, it illuminates so much of like, oh, yeah, the next steps. It’s like, because a lot of times when you’re at that beginning point, you have that curiosity, and it’s like, I want to learn more. It’s not so ironic. So that curiosity is it’s one of those core values from pretty much every coach worth their salt who I’ve ever spoken to. There’s they’re just naturally curious, but then figuring out what steps to take that can be like people can get stuck there, they can get lost. They’re kind of wandering around the dark looking for like, okay, so I know the who, and I think I understand the how, but I need some help. And then of course, most every coach I’ve ever talked to has a coach of their own. Sure. And I love the the distinction that you make and the hybridization you’ve put together between coaching and consulting. Because a lot of times people have a limited understanding of what each of those are. And so they get a little bit deflated in ways that actually reduce clarity. And I love that you’re bringing clarity to that distinction in a way that brings them together. So I speak more on that I know I’m talking a little bit, but you said a lot that got me excited. So yeah.

Kiley Peters 5:30
Well, so like most entrepreneurs, I built my business based off of my personal experience. So in the brief version is in 2021, I essentially crashed, I tried to do too many things, didn’t want to do the things I was doing, you know, it was just a lot of things. So in reflection on figuring out, like, how did I come through that, how did I get to the other side, I kind of reverse engineered everything that I did. And then I’ve refined it and created an infrastructure I call the DNA of success. And I believe that for a small business owner to be successful, you have to make business personal, you have to first define success for yourself as a human, and then align your business strategy to that personal definition of success. So this whole concept of like, oh, it’s not, it’s not personal, it’s businesses, businesses, not personal, I think, is a load of crap. And so I probably stand behind that, because so often we’re focused on building a successful business. And so many people build quote, unquote, successful businesses, epic teams, they have revenue, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But they’re miserable, because they’re not doing the type of work that fills their cup, they’re not spending their time the way they want. It’s nothing is really, truly aligned. Because to be fair, they probably haven’t done that work yet. They probably also haven’t had a coach yet to do that work with, right. So as I kind of reverse engineered it, I specifically work with two types of individuals. We work with women, small business owners who provide services, so professional services, usually, who have either been running their business for a while, and to the outside, they look like they’re doing great, all the things, and they hate their life. And they’re like something has to change, I don’t know what it is, I’m a little afraid to admit it, it’s kind of embarrassing, but like, I can’t do this anymore, I’m super burnt out, etc. Right. So a lot of that has to do with realignment, like or alignment in the beginning, right. And then we focus on streamlining their business to increase profitability, so that they can also increase personal fulfillment at the same time. And the second type of person we work with, is typically a woman that’s in corporate America is sick of the corporate gig, he has a great skill set wants to start her own consulting gig, doesn’t know how to do the business part, though, and doesn’t want to, like waste three years trying to figure it out. So she, as well can join our workshop. And day one is all about the owner. So it’s all coaching, right? So it’s all about coaching, we go through all kinds of exercises, and we do this either one on one, and we do this and I’m sorry, in groups as well. So day one, get really clear on who you want. And I believe that we define success, by getting clear on your intention, your energy and your time, when you get clear on those things, makes it so much easier to figure out what you say yes to what you say no to in your life and in your business. And then day two, we go through business strategy. So we go through all the fundamentals of your business, then we go just like we were talking about Kevin, we go through identifying who your audience is, what problems you solve for them. And then we work on productizing your services. So you can increase efficiency and profitability, and be able to create something that is scalable should you choose. And then we’ll go through unique marketing, messaging and positioning, we go through all the financials, which is always a scary part for most people. Their profit margin analysis, and then we build out a roadmap, all of that is on the third day. So so that’s kind of how we’ve done it. So we take a look at the owner all coaching on day one, because as I can’t consult you on who you are and what you’re meant to be. Right. And then we look at day two, to get clear on how we align your business to your personal goals and values. And then we create a roadmap and understand the financials to make it happen

Kevin Stafford 9:27
is the word that comes immediately to mind is that is robust in all the right ways. Like I’m feeling and I’m so glad you’re explaining to me it’s a lot but also like I’m feeling like, like an earthquake proof building like this is this is how you lay a foundation if you really want to do the work and do it right. You This is where you put it in. And I really I love the actually let me take one step back. I think a lot of a lot of successful people will at some point in their journey, whether they’re an entrepreneur or climbing a corporate ladder, they’ll fall into the trap of internalizing and really feeling like they’ve got to do it themselves. They’ve got to if there’s something that needs to be that something needs to happen, they’ve got to figure it out, they’ve got to learn how to do it, and do it. Not that they, you know, disbelieve in the power of help, it’s just not, it’s not a muscle that they’ve been rewarded for using in their journey to success. And when you want to shift what that definition of success looks like for you, and actually, by shift, I more mean, get rid of what other people have told you, and that you’ve internalized as your own. And really think about what it looks like for you what that word means, how it manifests in your day to day life, how you feel about your life, your professional and personal life, which again, are one in the same, we like to separate them sometimes, but we gotta remember, they are one of the same, it’s still us having someone come in and shine that light. Talk to you about who you are, like, listen to you talk about yourself, which is always very revealing when you ask very highly successful people what they think define success for them. And you’re like, I wonder if you’re right about that. And you’ve got all of these very detailed plans where it’s like, okay, I can see that I would like to change, I have the urge, the desire is growing. I mean, they wouldn’t have reached out to you in the first place, if something wasn’t already growing within them. Yeah, I know exactly. How to approach this what to do next. And I feel like, I feel like that appeals to the to the high achiever, because most high achievers is like, Okay, show me the roadmap, show me the plan. Let me see the building schematics, you know, and roll, roll out the big papers like, and you have all of that, as well as the personal touch and the getting to know you. It’s just I’m, quite frankly, I’m impressed, I think is the long way around the what I’m saying I’m very impressed with your approach. And I feel like it addresses exactly who you want to address and how they need to be addressed how they need to be connected with and communicated to at that important stage of their journey.

Kiley Peters 11:48
Yeah. And you know, what I’ll also say too, is, the work we do is not unlike what other people do in the sense that not everyone’s going to, we’re not going to be the right fit for everybody, right? Like, if you’re like getting, I’m not going to talk about feelings, and we’re not going to go there, then we’re probably not the right fit for you. If you’re going to be offended by other people talking about their feelings, and we’re probably not the right fit for you, right, and that’s okay, and somebody else will be. But if you’re willing to show up, and you’re willing to shed the layers, and you’re willing to do the work, and you’re really willing to focus, like I really firmly believe that we can save people, three years of just muddling their way through their business. And we do this in three days.

Kevin Stafford 12:32
And that’s another important distinction that I love, I love to hear is that fit. It might not be us. It might not be time yet. It could be it could be you and it year could be you and I in six months, however it actually works out. And that commitment to fit is really it’s an expression of authenticity of just, frankly, honestly, honesty, where it’s like, you know, see you you see us, it’s just it’s not it’s not right for reasons, and we can identify those, we could talk about those. Let me let’s either start, you know, the old circle back thing, which is another important thing is checking to see if things shift for this relationship in this room and time or, and or years, this coach or here’s this consultant, or here’s this agency that we know that’s worked with people who are more on your position, let’s let’s connect you and see what maybe maybe if there’s a good fit there, that commitment to fit is something I find to be intrinsic to every good coach I’ve spoken to they’re committed to finding and being the right fit for their clients. And if they’re not, they make sure to communicate that right at the beginning. And it’s just the integrity in that is, again, I’m thinking of integrity of honesty and structural integrity. And you’ve got you’ve got both definitions of that word in your approach, which I I’m responding to very, very, very powerfully.

Kiley Peters 13:50
Well, you know, I think the others, like there’s, there’s a couple of ways to break that down to right. So one is the integrity behind it, you know, it’s not going to be worth like, this is not going to be a win win for anybody, if we don’t call it like we see it. And the second part of that is from a business standpoint, I literally like I’ve been doing this for a few years now. Right? And I can tell you with certainty that I have said yes to a handful of clients, consulting clients, not coaching clients, consulting clients, that I was like, okay, we can do this, like in my early years, right? And never once was it a good idea. Never once and almost always I lost money on it. So it’s like, you’re not doing anybody any favors. If your goal is to help somebody help them either by what you had mentioned is like find the right fit, if it’s not you, or own it, if it is you and commit to making the transformation.

Kevin Stafford 14:51
It’s kind of insidious how how people really they think of Yes, as a universal positive expression and no as a universal negative expression. Yeah, when quite frankly, that could not be farther from the truth, I have encountered plenty of bad yeses and really great nose in my life. I’ve been on both sides of that the giver and receiver. And that’s, again, you spoke right to it when you were laying out your plan your three days, that that’s becoming acquainted with what you’ll say yes to and what you’ll say no to really getting to know it. And understanding that why? I mean that that’s the kind of wisdom that comes from experience. And you don’t want to have to go through that over and over again, I think that’s one of the great, great benefits and painful coaching and consultancy is that like, you know, what, I’ve let let me have made these mistakes for you. made these mistakes for you and learn the lessons not to say that you’re not gonna make them yourself, you’re gonna you’re gonna bump into some

Kiley Peters 15:50
fairly make your own mistakes. Yeah, for sure.

Kevin Stafford 15:54
Just understand that. Not every Yes, is a positive. And not every note is a negative. I feel like it’s very foundational. You say it out loud. You’re like, oh, done. It’s pretty simple. Most of it is.

Kiley Peters 16:05
No, but I love I love that insight. Because you’re absolutely right. And I love that perspective of yeses are typically seen as positive and noes are seen as negative. And I think that I agree with you, I think that’s totally false. You have to look at the full context. And the intention behind that. I’m like, Are you saying yes, because you are greedy? And you need to pay your rent to this this month? Or whatever it is? Or are you saying no, because you’re protecting your time, and you know that you don’t have the ability to take on another client right now. Like, those are totally different things.

Kevin Stafford 16:41
And they’re both your goal and again, it comes right back to where you started, which is course perfect. Your goal is Who Am I? Who am I trying to serve? And how can I serve them? And if it’s such a, such a proving journey, every time you if you constantly come back to that question, and I so frequently find that great coaching is about great questions, come back to me to serve here. Who am I serving? And how am I serving them? And just sit with that question with the answers that come out of that question. And the even better questions that might come out of a question like that is like, Oh, I’m serving myself right now, how am I doing that? Oh, and that’s all these cascading questions and it starts to shine light around what you’re doing while you’re doing it. And again, brings that clarity that we’re all looking for, I just I get so excited by the fact that we can traffic in these, these really like high level human concepts of just existence and happiness, and at the same time, have extremely detailed blueprints, and battle plans and roadmaps to get from here to there. And it’s just, it’s why I’m always so taken. And I get so passionate about coaching and consulting and the ways the ways in which it can help people on that journey that just really, they just need a little bit of guidance and a little bit of advice, even though it’s another thing that we’ve defined as a negative, but come on, we all need some advice sometimes, and we need to be able to receive it and give it

Kiley Peters 18:07
for sure. And I’ll add to that, too, is I think the other thing that is pretty universal for all humans is we need a safe space that we feel that we can be heard. And we can not be judged. And we can just work through whatever we need to work through, which is one of the first things that really drew me into coaching. It’s like, as an adult, you don’t have like, it ends up being your spouse most of the time. And then they’re like, stop complaining to me all the time. And it’s like, you’re right, I’m sorry, that’s not fair to you. And then it’s like, Okay, I can’t do that to my sister, my best friend, like not fair to them either. And it’s like, I need someone to talk to who’s not going to judge me who has an unbiased third party opinion, and can hold a safe space. And I think it’s human nature. Like, we all need that. And so I think it’s such a beautiful gift, you know, in all my coaching experience, and I’m sure you can attest to this as well. I have never met one coach that was like, Oh, I’m here. I’m in this for me. Yeah, I want it there. Just like I just want to help people. I just want to help them. I care so much I want to help and it’s like, oh just renews my faith in humanity a little bit. It really does.

Kevin Stafford 19:23
Really does. And I love I love I feel I feel in my heart of hearts that when I when I’ve leaned on on partners and family and close friends for things that they didn’t sign up for that. Yeah, that was so much for me.

Kiley Peters 19:39
It wasn’t the designed Alliance, right?

Kevin Stafford 19:41
Like that. I like that that design Alliance. That’s a good borrower. That one. I think about often like, hell, it’s like a story of a storytelling trope, but also just like an experience. I feel like we all have at some point where you just encounter a stranger and you find yourself telling them your life story. Because that distance between you And whatever the circumstances are that allows that space to come into being, you feel like you can step into it and fill it with everything that’s like weighing on you, or things that you don’t even realize are weighing on you that they are. And it’s a coach is almost like an intimate stranger. Oh, yeah, it’s like, all the skills and all of the ability and all of the care, like they genuinely care about you and about about the work. And they’re borderline complete stranger. And so you have that that strange cocktail of intimacy and empathy and connection there, into which so much can flow that you didn’t even realize that you were sitting in like, you know, the middle seat on coach, you start to stand up and all of a sudden, how about my brain? But that feeling when you’re like, your offspring were like, oh, there’s so much more space here. I had no idea. It’s a beautiful moment.

Kiley Peters 20:54
Yeah, I could dive into the concept of space with you as well, like, that’s one thing that my coach and I have worked on for the last three years is like, that’s my biggest takeaway is I need space. Like, and I’m sure I’m not alone in that. But like, for me to operate at my highest and best use, I need space to like, think and build and create. And so trying to find that internal balance of like, oh, well, I also want to give and give and give and give of myself. So all my calendar is full of 15 minute meetings and back to backs. Like I need space, because I need that to refuel, you know. So getting clear on what you say yes. And once you say no, to for sure. Yes,

Kevin Stafford 21:35
it’s funny. And this might be this might be I mean, we’re stumbling, I’m gonna have you on back on for a part two, because this conversation is literally delightful, utterly delightful. But I got me thinking about how sometimes you need space, and sometimes you need to be held. And getting getting one when you need the other can be catastrophic. Yeah, that’s a great insight. I mean, your relationships built in such a way, and being able to communicate those needs when you when, when they when they arise to the right people in the right moment and have them understand how to listen to you. There are there are a few feelings like that in the world, someone who holds you when you need to be held, and gives you this gives you space when you need that space. Like whenever that happens from whoever that comes. It’s just it’s one of the greatest human experiences that maybe sounds a little poetical. But that’s that’s the way I feel about it. It’s just it’s so beautiful.

Kiley Peters 22:19
No, I agree with you. I think one of the greatest insights, my sister helped me name this a few years ago, and then I helped to, I don’t want to use the word train, but communicate to my husband. Whenever I’m talking about something, it’s like, I just need you to listen right now. I don’t need you to solve my problem. Or I’m asking for advice. You know, just like, just say the thing that you need, but sometimes we don’t have the words to say the thing. So finding that space to name the thing and then communicate the thing has saved us from a lot of fights.

Kevin Stafford 22:54
Being a saving time, that’s that can save you three years of fights. Yeah, there in three days or three minutes just by having those words understood between each other. It’s like, as you said that it was like, oh, man, there have been so many times where it’s at. That’s what I needed. I needed I needed my instructions to be read to me. Because I might have started to come in and try and solve the problem when that is not what is required right now from the person I’m trying to care about. Like my my intentions are good. But we all know where that road can lead with a little bit of guidance. That’s how I felt I felt a little bit of like a twinge was like oh, yeah, I just I’ve certainly I certainly stepped in due to a number of times and do we all have everyone’s been asked for Oh my god. Okay, so I just looked up at the Zoom clock, and we’re already like 30 minutes into our conversation, which is about as much time as we usually spend, I’m 100% going to bother you to come back on this podcast. I have had a delight. Before I let you go do usual stuff. Where can where can people find out more about you who you are, what you do, how you do it? Where can people best connect with you? I don’t know if you have like if you direct everybody to like the centralized website or if you like engage on social media of your real active on like LinkedIn or Instagram or Tiktok or wherever you happen to be. So yeah, get to know you better. Where to find you.

Kiley Peters 24:09
Yeah, so I have my personal website Kaylee Peters K i l e y But you can also visit us at rain nine R A To learn more about the work we do and you can find me and Ray nine on LinkedIn and on Instagram

Kevin Stafford 24:29
perfect making it easy that’s the way it’s that’s why it should be Thank you. I was gonna launch into another like Sir You know this is going around like how much I enjoyed the conversation. It just comes back to gratitude which is which of the core concept we didn’t even touch on want to touch on that accent dude, um, thank you for thank you for being you. Because I’m that you exist in the world and you’re doing the work that you’re doing. makes me like it makes me happy because we hope and selfishly, I had a really great time talking with you and I would totally want to do it again. So yeah, thanks for being you and they for being here

Kiley Peters 25:00
thank you so much Kevin It was a pleasure and thank you for having me on the show

Kevin Stafford 25:05
we’ll talk to you again soon sounds good

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