Kevin Stafford 0:00
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the conversations with coaches podcast. I’m your host, Kevin, and I’m excited to get into a little bit of trouble with Brent hatefully. We’re just having some fun with his name. It’s spelled a certain way, which you’ll see in the in the title of the episode. Brent is delightful. I’ll just go ahead and share that with you right off the top, we’ve had a an excellent conversation, and I kind of just want to have like a coffee with them or maybe a beverage at some point. Let me introduce you to Brent. Brent has led in the number one or number two role in multiple businesses and nonprofits on the local, national and international level. As a consultant and coach, he’s worked with hundreds of CEOs and teams all over North America. Today, Brent is the head coach at the executive and team coaching firm, vibrancy unlocked. Brent, you are definitely vibrant. And I feel as if you are unlocked or unleashed, I’m just I’m so tickled to get to know you. It’s just I’m already like, quite taken with getting to chat with you and share you with my audience today. So welcome.
Brent Hafele 0:59
Thank you. It’s fun to be here. Great.
Kevin Stafford 1:01
So well, let’s dive right in headfirst all the way back to the beginning. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I’m kidding. Luck all the way back to the beginning. Let’s go back to your beginning. As a coach, how did you how did you discover or realize or were told that coaching or becoming a coach was really a great expression of who you are and who you wanted to be in the world? How did that happen for you?
Brent Hafele 1:25
Sure. Well, actually, I started out as a consultant before the coaching. And so I was in the nonprofit sector working fundraising, coaching, board coaching and doing some or I’m sorry, fundraising, consulting, board consulting, and some executive consulting and leadership consulting, working with different teams all over the country. And in that process, there were two resources that really resonated with me. One was Edgar shines process consultation revisited. And the other one was Patrick Lencioni. He’s getting naked, which is an interesting name to a book. But both of them talked about a philosophy or an approach where, yes, you as a consultant have expertise, wisdom, experience, insights, but so does your client. And so, in contrast to the doctor patient model, where I am the Doctor, I will prescribe or I will diagnose, I will prescribe and I will treat, and you will say Yes, Doctor, I took on the consulting approach of all right, we’re gonna get in the trenches together. And I’m gonna bring what I can bring, and you’re gonna bring what you can bring. And together, we’re going to be in the middle. And so I have only been professionally coaching for three years. But I’ve been consulting, the my approach to Consulting has been a coach approach to consulting for 15. And so I feel like I am a more mature coach, then I normally then a lot of people would be if they’ve only been coaching for three years, if that makes any sense. So it was when it was when I it was when I started taking, getting excited about Clifton Strengths that I realized, wait a second, there’s this methodology called coaching. This sounds really familiar, this, this feels really good. And I can do coaching and have a similar impact to consulting and I don’t have to read a report. Sounds like my type of deal.
Kevin Stafford 3:32
So that’s I can skip the book report and still get the grade.
Brent Hafele 3:39
Exactly, it was it was beautiful, like this, this is awesome. So it’s been a good fit. S
Kevin Stafford 3:46
I love the way you describe that it’s because I feel like it goes this way, especially when you’re able to look back at it in retrospect because you have the you know, the 2020 vision looking back how you could see your you as a coach evolving out of who you were trying to be in the world as a consultant. A lot of people come from like places like HR, or they’ll come from various positions of leadership, or they were in corporate and they moved to entrepreneurial, all sorts of different journeys, but there’s that, that slowly dawning realization or and this is from the perspective of hindsight being 2020 When you look back and you’re like I was really becoming a coach for over a decade before I actually officially quote unquote, started calling myself that. It’s just so fascinating to hear the way you describe this, I it, it strikes me as a dawning where it’s just like the sun’s coming up slowly, the light is getting brighter and before you know it, it’s up there in the sky.
Brent Hafele 4:35
Exactly. And I just, I again have to, to just give credit, especially to Edgar Schein and all of his, you know, he’s got a book called helping and humble leadership and, and some books that just really resonated with the concept of, yes, you have something to bring, but so do they. And and when you go into any relationship with that versus I’m superior, you’re inferior, it brings for some really exciting conversations and powerful insights.
Kevin Stafford 5:08
Yet, one way traffic feels, it has a certain kind of appeal because and I’m kind of projecting a little bit perhaps, as I’m wanting to do from time to time, but Perjeta that one way traffic feels a little easier to control feels a little bit easier to understand, in certain ways, there’s something, there’s something that feels contained about it. Whereas the two way traffic, the collaboration can, at least to some, at least, at first feel a little more chaotic or a little out of control. However, my experience is that the coaching relationship, it really, it really does quickly become again, if you’re if you have a good fit, if you’re in alignment, the coach and the coachee. There’s really like a one plus one equals three element to it, where you’re bringing really all of all of what you have to the table together. And each of you bringing your strengths and understanding to basically making the absolute best possible movements forward. And it’s it’s taken, it didn’t take me very long once I committed to seeing things that way to realize that that was just, in my opinion, a superior way to go about having an impact on someone. I couldn’t agree more. clip that off very tightly. That was like I didn’t really leave an open loop there today. It’s all good. I like it. So well, let’s talk. Let’s talk about the president. Let’s talk about the nuts and bolts of your business today. And I usually try to ask this question as a two parter because I feel like it gets at the heart of what someone’s doing as a coach, who do you coach? And how do you coach them the WHO being if you have any particular industries that you tend to focus on with your client base or any particular like level or degree of career development that you focus on in the how being all the ways that people coach one to one group, keynote speech book, share the above? Yada, yada? Yeah, who do you coach? And how do you coach on these days.
Brent Hafele 6:54
So I love working with mid level and senior level leaders, and whether it be nonprofit, for profit or even government context. So leaders who are working with teams especially, and I will work either individually with the with those executives, or I will work with the executive and their team. And, and so sometimes I start with the team and then move to the executive. And sometimes I start with the executive and move to the team. But either way, I love that context, especially when you’re working with the C suite type leader, and helping them think through how do I be a leader that that is healthy, not only for me, but for my team. And I call that vibrancy. So like, you ask the question about how, yeah, a core part of of my philosophy and my approach is, I’m not sure about you, Kevin and your experiences, but I have yet to find a leader who is successful at completely divorcing personal from professional. And, and, but yet, there’s this this ethos within a lot of work environments, that well you’re at work, you should separate that. You know, you suck it up, buttercup, you gotta get, you got to get going, you gotta you gotta go do your thing. And, and so, I really have been passionate about creating a space where it is okay to say, my marriage is failing. And it’s affecting my work. Or I’m struggling with this aspect, or I’m dealing with this thing. And, or, you know, I’m really good at my job. I just don’t like what I do. And and helping leaders or I have, I want to grow but my team doesn’t want to follow me. Okay, well, let’s, let’s figure out why. And, and often there is both a professional reason they don’t want to follow but there’s also a personal reason they don’t want to follow. And so I love those conversations where it’s like, Alright, so let’s just, let’s just sit let’s just be together. Let’s process through this and, and help you become a far more vibrant person in both your professional and your personal life. I
Kevin Stafford 9:21
really do love, love your choice of the word vibrancy because of the way that for me, like when I when I hear when I hear and when I speak the word vibrancy, I don’t just think about i Well, other words come to mind, just kind of like stretching it out like resonance. Like I can almost feel like a literal vibration and the way that those vibrations when like, you know, like you hit a tuning fork and it will radiate out or you plunk plunk a pebble in a pond, and you see the concentric circles radiating out and thinking about the vibrancy of leadership in the way that what’s happening in your life. Personal professional, whatever other compartments you’d like to put things in. It’s all of a piece and it’s all having an effect on the people that you’re Reading because you have a relationship with them. Generally, people who are in a relationship with you of any kind are going to feel what you’re feeling and experience what you’re experiencing in different ways. It’s going to pass between you based on the way that you lead your leadership style, the way that you show up. And it’s, it’s always funny how it’s because this has always been a lifelong struggle, really that desire to compartmentalize, while not also just dividing myself into little pieces. It’s like realizing that everything is like a piece, but also trying to like make things take things in, what’s the word consumable chunks, so to speak.
Brent Hafele 10:37
And in right there, what you just said, Kevin is a big part of why I am passionate about vibrancy and why I’m passionate about working specifically with leaders and their teams. Because number one, I when you work with a leader, and you help a leader, succeed, you’re not just helping the leader, you’re helping that leaders family, you’re helping that leaders community, you’re helping that leaders team, you’re helping that leaders organization. And, and, and for me, impact is just really important. And so the ability to be able to work and, and not just touch one life, by working with one life, but touch multiple lives by working with one life is so exciting and fun. And when that you know that that that moment of insight that eureka moment comes, it’s just, it’s just so exciting and giddy. I’ve also though, I’m, I’m a goofy guy, I, I’ve I don’t mind playing practical jokes, I like to, I like to laugh a lot I like to play. And that hasn’t always been welcomed in the work environments that that I’ve been in. And so I have felt that, that feeling of okay, we like what you do and how you make us money. But we don’t really like you. And that has held me from that has held me back or prevented me from living my fullest and living the best that I can. And I know that there are so many other leaders because I’ve worked with over 150 organizations as a consultant, and many more just in the sales process. There are so many other leaders that are feeling the same thing that are experiencing that same thing, or their team members are experiencing that same thing. And changing the culture adjusting the culture so that it is inclusiveness is a big word right now. But it’s it’s not just about you know, federally protected classes. inclusiveness also means allowing people to be who they are, and, and celebrating that, and at the same time creating a space where they can be productive, healthy, and have great relationships.
Kevin Stafford 13:06
As a fellow, a fellow goofy person, myself, I often find myself using the terms goofy and silly to describe myself because it’s what comes through. And it’s an outgrowth of my passion and my enthusiasm. And the way I often understand it myself, and also try to communicate it to the world around me and the people that I lead and the people I have relationships with, and the people who lead me is that I tried to be light hearted and serious minded. I tried to always keep a lightness to way that the way that I moved through the world, and that sometimes includes humor, or breathing conversation, or even entertaining small talk, or let’s see, let’s talk about, you know, last night’s episode of succession or whatever it happens to be whatever happens to be the thing to keep me light hearted, and just be sharing myself with ease and facility and also in a way that allows me to ask people to connect with me and connect with them. And also be there to do the work and to be successful and have an impact. And I think far too often people think of those states of being as very separated and again, that compartmentalization you spoke to earlier between the personal and professional, and I think a light heart and a serious mind belong together. Because we’re all trying to have you know, impact on the world we’re trying to you know, pursue our passions and also make the world a better place most of us are I should say, I shouldn’t speak for everyone, but I know you and I are and the people that we usually choose to work with are committed to being better developing themselves personally professionally and having a positive impact on NGO world and their world which means their you know, their team, whether they lead or whether they follow or both.
Brent Hafele 14:40
It it really is a matter of when you create that space for people to be a whole person. And again, I’m I don’t I’m not a life coach. I don’t want to work with just the life side. I want to work on the on the leadership side. I like working with small business leaders. I like working with You know, medium sized, and even large organizations, I’ve worked with a wide range of organizations. I love that diversity in that, that I’ve clients that I work with, but but when you create that space for the whole person, that’s where that’s where you have the ability to unlock a person’s fullest potential. And, and when you do that, especially when you unlock a person’s fullest potential as a team, real traction happens that that’s where the biggest productivity happens. And I’m a Clifton Strengths coach. And, and I know that, you know, when you when you leverage, this is based in science, it’s not just based in in you know, Brent’s theory of life, although I agree with it. When you have a team that celebrates its strengths, they’re 8.9%, more profitable and 7.8% more likely to be productive. And they are six times more likely to be engaged. And employee engagement is a big issue right now. And so we can find ways for teams and leaders to be more vibrant in the way that they live. To have fun, I was at a in an organization recently, and I just asked a couple of people I said, when’s the last time you had you’ve had fun as a team? Like, um, I think we went out for coffee like right before Christmas break. And I’m thinking, Hmm, I wonder how this culture is actually dealt with? Exactly. You can go down, there’s no wonder the staff feel tired.
Kevin Stafford 16:38
Yeah. And you really do. It’s very easy to underestimate the amount of the word came to me naturally, the amount of vibrancy and energy and life you get from your team from from the people that you work with on a daily, weekly, monthly yearly basis. However, that goes, it’s just, it’s amazing. And it doesn’t have to be some sort of, you know, multifaceted, complex emotional relationship, just having like a healthy human relationship with the people that you know, at work. I mean, you can call them work friends, if you want, I could have dropped the work off the front of it, like we’d largely relate to each other in the context of work. And yet we are human beings who enjoy each other’s company, and like the work that we do together, not super complicated. Doesn’t have to be anyway, like, we might like to make it so but doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be vibrant, which is not a word you hear from a lot of people talking about their teams vibrant, or in the workforce.
Brent Hafele 17:33
Yeah, well, I couldn’t agree more
Kevin Stafford 17:36
clearly. Well, I have, I’ve just, I feel like I could talk to you for quite a long time. And also, I think we have, like I said, I wasn’t just blowing smoke, I think feel like we have a similar vibe and the way that we like to move through the world. And I feel like we could have a lot of fun together and get up to a lot of trouble. So this is, this has been really fun. And I do want to I’m looking at the Zoom clock and doing my best to be a responsible podcast host. So before I let you go, which I will, I promise? Where can people find out more about you, who you are, what you do, vibrancy unlocked, etcetera, etcetera. And where can people best connect with you if they want to start a conversation, start a relationship?
Brent Hafele 18:15
Sure. So the first place to go is vibrancy unlocked.com. It’s as simple as that. And it’s a website, just like any other website, but one resource that I do want to highlight is I have what I call the life work vibrancy scale. And there’s just a big button at the top that says take assessment. And it is a no cost assessment, you just download it, and I won’t even see the results unless you want me to see the results happy to but it’s a low cost. It’s a complimentary assessment that you can fill out yourself and look at it has seven life factors, and seven work factors. And you simply rate those factors on the scale of worst possible to best possible. So where are you in your physical health? Or where are you in your fun and leisure or your friend relationships or your relationship with your team? And so you answer those questions. And it’s it’s a tool that allows you to think more critically about the vibrancy in your life. And then from that there’s four question categories or question areas that you can go deeper in. And it’s just a tool that’s available. And if you want to go further and talk more, you can then take that and reach out with me. And we can we can start from there. And all that information is at vibrancy on loc.com. I also invite anyone who wants to to connect with me on LinkedIn. So that’s another great place.
Kevin Stafford 19:39
Perfect. Perfect. Yeah, I’m finding LinkedIn to be more and more valuable platform and less less toxic than other social media platforms. I won’t say I’m toxic, but certainly less. A little more reminded that all provided that you don’t get spammed. There’s a lot of spam recently that’s been coming through. Yes, yes. It’s there’s there’s definitely some filters that need to be worked on both for how I interact with the platform and with how the platform kind of traffic.
Brent Hafele 20:06
But I love LinkedIn, it’s a great place to be. And, and it’s allowed me a lot of really cool connections with people.
Kevin Stafford 20:19
Fancy meeting you here, I wanted to, I guess, compliment you again on something in particular, the the emphasis you put on, on data in the context of coaching and how a lot I think a lot of times, again, people will compartmentalize or fail to realize the unity of the sort of what you might might call the softer skills, I hate using that term, because not what they are. But just like the sort of the conversations, the development, the holding space, and that, but there’s also like, there are ways to turn that into data. And there’s ways for that data to inform the next kind of conversations you have, or the next things that you do. And it’s not either or, it’s both and and I feel like that approach is really the only way to holistically go about coaching and go about developing yourself, your team, your company, your life, right.
Brent Hafele 21:10
There is a lot of science behind the field of coaching. And I do coaching from using Clifton Strengths, I use a number of other modalities in my practice. And, but predominantly, I have a strong Clifton Strengths focus. And there’s, there’s a lot of, I use a lot of neuroscience in my practice as well. So there’s, there’s, there’s some things that just are scientifically valid, and when you have the ability to walk through something to take personal ownership over it to to celebrate who you are to recognize, I don’t know if you know this detail, Kevin. But in any given moment, when we’re conscious, we our brain is taking in 2 million bits of information. 2 million bits, everything from colors. I mean, you think about how many pixels are on a screen. You know, what are you seeing? What are you feeling? Or what are you smelling? What are you hearing? What are you touching? And your brain is constantly looking through all of those things to say, what do I pay attention to? And what a coach can do is say, all right, from those 2 million bits in any second that you’re engaging, where should we really be focusing. And when we focus the client on that, they can be a lot more effective and successful in whatever they’re looking at. And that’s just that’s that’s not my opinion. That’s just the science of coaching.
Kevin Stafford 22:50
And that’s I think that’s the perfect note to leave this on. That’s just it’s not my opinion. That’s just the facts. Deal with it. Brent, I have, again, I’m throwing this word around, and I can’t help it because this keeps coming to mind. It has been a delight to get to talk with you and to get to know you a little bit over the last 30 minutes or so it’s just I feel like I could talk to you for hours. I love just getting to chat with you. I feel like we could talk all sorts of serious and lighthearted subjects. So thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing some time with me. I’m totally going to slide into your LinkedIn DMS with that no spam is trying to have you back on a few months maybe so we can continue the conversation. So just yeah. Thanks for being here today. It was great to Yeah, thank you. And to the audience, I hope you had half as good of a time as I did, because if you did, you’re gonna go out in the show notes. You’re gonna go to vibrancy. unlock.com I’m actually going to go ahead and take that assessment when you were describing it. I’m like, I need to make some time to do that later today. So I think I’m gonna do that myself and I invite my audience to do the same. And we will talk to you here very soon.
